Latest update 6 February 2017.
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My Psa has risen from 0.39 to 0.45 over last 3 months which shows that Psa is not continuing to fall and that
the radiation I had last July and continuing ADT with Lucrin and with continuous Cosudex from last July was not
enough to stop the Pca from progressing. I have always feared that last year's treatment would only delay the
inevitable and sure enough, Psa is now beginning to rise again rising.

The graph below applies to myself only. Anyone else may find that their Psa levels and Pca history are nothing like
mine if their cancer cell type and treatment were very different.
Psa graph updated 6 February 2017.

The rise of Psa at far left side is evidence now that the IMRT radiation plus permanent addition of Cosudex
with continued monthly injections of Lucrin has not killed the cancer.
Cancer often defeats each and every attempt to halt its progress. Not all cancer cells are the same, and while
some may be killed by each treatment, others survive or mutate into something harder to treat any further.

I think this cancer will continue to chase after me for the future I have left.

I will discuss the problem with my oncologist on 11 Feb 2017, to ask where I may go next for whatever is available.
Just exactly what treatment is available NOW in Melbourne is hard to determine.

During this last week, I managed to ride 201km at average speed of 22.5kph, for total of 8 rides with 2
being over 50km. I am getting both knee joints replaced very soon, so I may walk more easily and work
without pain. But lurking in the background is my prostate cancer which is "under control" at present.
Weight is steady at 83.9Kg. Resting heart rate < 50, and not may missed beats or extra beats. 

Maybe my knees will get nicely better just in time for the cancer to pull me down again.

Being positive for me means understanding that the worst that is likely to happen will be the same as it was for
countless others, most of whom don't bother posting up their dismal experience once they see their end time.

There seem to be no side effects from taking 50mg Cosudex daily since July 18 2016. Lucrin is well tolerated.
The mild anemia after July's radiation has lessened, and last Sunday's ride of 60km before 10am went extremely
well with me in high spirits. Today I find Psa is rising, and even though it has not risen much I feel down.
There have never been any faulty
test results; the error rate is negligible.

Weather has been succession of heat waves with over 35C, and some hot nights making  it impossible to get
to sleep before 1am.

25 November 2016.
The spring weather has been delightful and my overall condition has improved. For newcomers to my blog here,
I had 31Grey of external beam radiation therapy applied to my prostate gland from July 18 to August 9 this year.
This added to the 70Grey applied in 2010. Severe radiation colitis occurred from August 20 to about October 30.

But since October, the radiation colitis symptoms of enduring high flatulence and 8 daily toilet sessions at least
has eased off and bowel function has become closer to normal.

My last Psa test on 9 November gave 0.39, so it is slowly falling. I have not had such a low Psa since beginning
of 2015. See the updated graph of Psa tests below. I am continuing with monthly injections of Lucrin and daily
Cosudex and Flomaxtra tablets.

It is still too soon to credit Epworth Hospital in Melbourne where I received the Calypso EBRT during July.
I believe the Cosudex is the main agent acting to blockade whatever tiny amount of testosterone is in my body
which is not suppressed by Lucrin injections once a month.

However, it is surely certain that RT at Epworth plus the RT I had at Canberra Hospital in 2010 has done
my stubborn cancer cells no favours.

It remains to be seen if my Pca survivor cells which remain after treatments so far will survive or whether
they become more difficult to treat in future, and begin to dominate remaining radiation affected tissues,
and then spread or become some other form of cancer which may not produce Psa and hence not be
detectable by Psa tests. There are a number of future possible outcomes which all are quite awful.
I recently read a frightening opinion by well informed medicos about Pca where one doc said the Pca
can seed itself in bones and then come alive some years later. More reading indicates that once bone
metastasis has begun, and is detectable, it means you have only 3% chance of being alive 5 years later.
I do not really know my cancer status; the more one reads, the more certain I am that I am uncertain.
But between now and when Psa could measure 50 may be 3 years.
But right now, I am well enough to have a big knee operation and put up with the battle it will be to recover
and learn to walk without pain and ride a bike a bit further - before I die, so I can get married to suitable
woman, finish projects, get affairs in order, and leave much less mess behind me than do so many other
ppl when they finally die.

I am booked in to attend a pre-admission clinic on 13 December in advance of having titanium and plastic
inserts to both knee joints some time after January 2017.

Before 20 October 2016 :-
Nothing much has happened to my health in the last month, except I am still suffering effects of radiation
colitis, a side effect of having had radiation of PG in July. So bowel habits are very irregular because the
rectum now cannot do its store before dumping routine which everyone else takes for granted.
The condition has very slightly eased over last 3 weeks. I am now seeking a bone density scan, and an
injected drug to slow down bone loss due to ADT which is continuing with monthly Lucrin and Cosudex.
Sleep is irregular, with 5 get ups a night, and some nights I sleep less than 5 hours. There is no acute
pain and continence is still intact.
Before 24 September 2016 :-
My Psa was 0.52 at 24 September, going down from 0.73 at 17 August, and down from a peak of 2.8 in
mid July 2016.

Why did this happen?

In Early July 2016 I went to Epworth Hospital in Melbourne to have "salvation radiation therapy" using Calypso
IMRT applied to my PG and to two lymph nodes in upper thorax.
31Grey was applied to PG to raise the 70Grey level applied in EBRT in Canberra in 2010 to 101Grey.
45Grey was applied to each lymph node. There were two hospital visits before IMRT on July 1, and July 10,
with IMRT applied twice a day from July 18 to August 9 to PG, and once a day to lymph 2 nodes.

July 1. I had a minor operation to install 3 x RF beacons to PG to guide the Calypso IMRT to PG.
A hydrogel pad of about 10mm thick and 50mm dia was inserted between my rectum and PG,
to push the PG away so that high intensity X-ray beams did not fry a section of rectum tube.
In previous EBRT in 2010, no hydrogel was used, and the amount of RT used on PG is limited
by what the rectum can be allowed to withstand, plus other areas.
The Calypso IMRT has multiple beam directions, not just the 4 of standard EBRT, and the path of
beams can be chosen to avoid areas previously radiated or those where little radiation could be
tolerated. The radiation beams are not fine beams with sharp boundaries but have diffused beams
like a torch light shining. But where all the beams intersect at the target, the accumulated radiation
intensity may be 50 times higher than somewhere only 50mm away.

July 10. I was "measured up" and a temporary body cast made with some sort of plastic-paper
foam to allow easy and accurate body alignment while on the radiation table before radiation.
The body cast is not an enclosing cast; it is only 75mm high to wrap around the underside of a
body on a flat table, and the the cast allows easy body alignment by at least two staffers attending
before RT sessions began. Tiny tattoos were placed when information from previous CT scans
was correlated so that for each session of RT, my body could be positioned to within +/- 1mm
of the correct positions with laser light beams. It is important that the huge radiation gadget knows
where to aim - guided by the tattoos and the three "radiologically opaque" beacons which had been
inserted to my PG on July 1.

I began taking 1 Cosudex pill daily, each 50mg. I was already under influence of previous Lucrin
I also began to work on my bowel to ensure there was no gas or shit in rectum before 9AM.
That meant continuing my vegetarian diet, but using one Coloxyl tablet each evening to ensure a
good shit by 8:30am. It was important that I attend all radiation sessions shit&gas free and with a
nearly full bladder to keep the PG in the alignment position as accurately as possible.

July 18 to August 8. There were 2 sessions of RT per day, 6 hours apart, with PG and two upper
lymph nodes done at 10am, and PG again at 4pm. A Psa test was done on July 18, but I was never
told what the result was.
My Psa rapidly reduced from estimated 2.8 at July 18 to 0.73 on August 16, about a week after
finishing RT. The RT doctor forecast that Psa would flare up before reducing, but that has not been
observed. By 24 September, Psa fell to 0.52.

I do not think the radiation has caused or assisted the Psa reduction, unless this is proven to
be the case in future months.

I do think the Cosudex has caused most of the Psa reduction, because whenever I was previously
given a month with daily Cosudex pills, 50mg, there was a rapid Psa reduction, as shown on

I cannot say yet if the large expense and trouble of attending Epworth has resulted in any benefit.
It could argued the Calypso IMRT has given me more time. It is almost impossible to prove that
is true. Medical outcomes after procedures are un-predictable.

The full answer of what my Pca status is cannot be known yet. But I have had Pca since about 2005.
Diagnosis was in late 2009, with Gleason 9, aggressive cells. The treatments and
dealings with doctors
has made me very cynical, and I doubt many things doctors say.

After hearing so many things doctors said I concluded they just cannot predict outcomes and I am
sure many of you are also unsure after hearing medical forecasts and predictions. They often just
cannot help saying something that seems to give patients hope when they have to also say, as they did
with me, that my prostate cancer is incurable.

No doctor can be assumed to be honest until time proves him/her to be have been truthful.
(( ( There is a huge disparity between what many well trained, well educated, and obscenely paid
professionals say and what happens later after things have been said. But this is REAL LIFE,
and what would you prefer? honest  fools? people who had no idea? any doctor who trained in
And does not each of us find wives, children, friends, workmates, bosses, and a host of others
often speak 100% Bull Shit type stuff. Could I ever believe any woman after I had one tell me
in a letter of goodbye that she really loved me? Her simple problem was that she was a natural
hater, a non-carer, a vagabond and nomad, and she'd tried to love but just couldn't, and an inner
force sent sent her scurrying away to anywhere safe from marital entrapment and commitment.
Thank goodness none of the doctors have been as bad as some of the lesser people I have
encountered during this brief life of mine. So. Be prepared to tolerate the well intentioned and
benign bullshit of professionals; neither you or them are perfect. )))

I was told in 2009 an RP operation would be fine, but that idea was abandoned during attempted
surgery in April 2010. I was put on ADT, and had EBRT in late 2010, and told "this will fix you!",
but in 2012 I found the RT had been quite useless, and could have been predicted because the
REAL rate of RT success with Gleason 9 is only a lousy 10%.

After 2 years of ADT, I paused ADT in April 2012, with Psa < 0.08. But by May 2013 Psa went
to 8.0, and I was forced to re-start ADT. Doctors were WRONG about what they said would
happen. It seemed EBRT had done nothing to halt my Pca. Psa went down to 0.2 after ADT was
recommenced, not as low as before I paused. I has another ADT pause during 2015, this time the
doctors didn't forecast anything; I thought, maybe good, maybe not good, and sure enough, Psa
shot up, and I re-started ADT. But the Psa didn't go as low again and it began to rise while on ADT
at beginning of 2016. This seemed to indicate typical ADT failure where Pca refuses to stop
progressing even with testosterone suppression. But testosterone was 0.9 last February, and higher
than the recommended maximum level of < 0.5 to starve a Pca tumor of testosterone on which it
depends to grow. Was the Lucrin having difficulty closing down testicular fuction? It seems like
it was.
The addition of Cosudex ( bicalutamide ) to ADT with Lucrin starting at July 10 may be doing
the main part of good.

The monthly inject of 7.5mg Lucrin is easier to take than the 22.5mg for 3 months. Costs are the

By April this year, the doubling time for Psa rise became alarming. My good local oncologist said
I could go Epworth Hospital in Melbourne to have a new type of scan, the MPsa PET gallium68
scan which has become available in last 18 months. I qualified to attend Epworth because my Psa
was between 1 and 4. Epworth had recently imported the Calypso IMRT method from USA.

On May 2, I had the Mpsa PET with gallium 68 at Bridge Road Imaging and results were viewed
on May 3 with the director of Radiation Oncology at Epworth Hospital. I had an enlarged PG, and
scan results showed two distant spread spots in two upper thorax lymph nodes "associated with the
prostate gland." The doctor said the spread spots were not in lungs or other organ. He said these
small level spots would not kill me because I would have much bigger problems with the main
primary tumor within 2 to 5 years. Ah, so without his RT, I'd last only 5 more years max.
My PG tumor is aging, and probably began in 2005, but didn't make a big Psa, so it was 2009 when
Psa rose above 5. Old PG tumors can end up being deadly.

The doc said he could offer more "salvation" radiation via Calypso IMRT to increase accumulated
level in PG to a threshold more likely to cause Pca cell death. He was not sure if it was possible
to radiate the lymph nodes at the same time.
I returned to ACT, booked appointments for second opinions for which I had to wait a month.
This gave me time to search online for anything I could find about trials of salvation RT for
patients like me who had RT as the primary treatment. I found very few cases where the PG was
radiated a second time after Pca began to progress.

I was in a tiny minority category of patients.

I considered having a surgeon remove my bladder, PG, and seal off penile urethra well away from
outlet from PG, having both ureters brought to a stoma, then facing life with an external piss bag.
The urology surgeon who first saw me in 2009 was not interested in this surgery for me at any time
in future despite having done the same thing for a friend of mine, and who has no Psa, and probably
no Pca cells in his body, and he is doing well. But my friend accepted his op because he didn't want
RT or chemo etc, and the usual long drawn out and losing battle. I'd been radiated, and the bigger op
was now not possible - too much danger of bleeding to death.

The most common op is to remove PG and join penile urethra to bottom of bladder. It is the Radical
Prostatectomy, RP. It might be OK where Gleason score <6, but distance from surgery to Pca is less
than 20mm, and in many cases the surgery area develops Pca. Therefore many who have an RP will
need to have RT and then have a long battle to keep the demon of Pca under control, they may need
the years of ADT and chemo therapy; the fight is never over until the cancer wins.

The surgeon said he might install a supra-pubetic catheter if my prostatic urethra became constricted.
It involves a plastic pipe with balloon at end inserted below belly button, and direct to front of bladder.
The balloon is expanded, has holes in it, and piss flows to a collection bag. But insertion point is just
above the vertical pathway for radiation to PG which was done in EBRT. The holes for catheter
insertion heal up rather like the cells around a thick ring or a bone which some ppl may insert through
their nose or an ear lobe. There is always a risk if infections. My GP has a patient who has had an
S-P-catheter for years, but for other reasons than mine.
It is the cheap easy alternative to the stoma and bag to side, but the PG remains with its Pca liable to
grow and kill.
He did say I could try the Melbourne IMRT Solution, and getting upper upper lymph nodes radiated in
the same sessions as for PG. I knew that he knew he could not help me much in future, and I felt he
didn't have much hope for my long term survival because of what he found in 2010 when he found he
could not remove my PG - too much cancer. He didn't ever tell me that. But what other reason was there?
I also I sought opinions from my oncologist, and from the radiologist who did my EBRT in 2010.

None of the these three doctors in Canberra had the specialty training or the software which could allow
them to view the 3D MPsa scans I saw at Epworth with the top radiology doctor. The Bridge Road
Imaging service supplied a DVD with scan info, but it didn't include the IntelliViewer software so nobody
at Canberra Hospital could view my scans any better than I could on a PC with Windows XP, 7, or 10. 

The latest gallium-68 scans give Pca patients and doctors with a much better idea of the cancer status.
Without the gallium-68, (or choline-II in USA), it is difficult to choose the best battle strategy.
My scans showed metastasis (spread) some years before any CT scan could show. And by the time Pca
shows up in a CT scan, its usually way too late for treatment to be effective.
If there were too many spread spots then the use of any IMRT or EBRT may be ineffective because so
many beam pathways would be needed that total amount of radiation applied will cause intolerable
side effects and damage to healthy tissues.
Many small tumors mean indicate systemic nuclear radiation or chemo therapy et all may be better.
Trials of systemic radiation with Lutetium 221 are underway at the new Peter McCallum Center
in Melbourne.
Trails of Actinium 225 have been done in USA. The radioactive element is in a solution, like salt in
water. There is also a secret binding agent that is specific for a type of cancer in solution. This
clear solution is pumped into a vein or artery and during the next hour or more the solution reaches all
parts of the body. The binding agent binds to tumor locations and brings the radioactive gallium ions
with it, and and magic happens; the tumor gets a lethal dose of RT. While the radioactive ions circulate
in the blood circulation network, they don't linger so their radiation dose to healthy tissue is negligible.
This all gives a theoretically positive outcome, but is somewhat subject to many variables and laws of
chance, but a success is deemed where more than 50% of patients gain many years of life afterwards.

But the most sensitive scans cannot show what will happen in my future if I am already riddled with
small amounts of cancer spread which are too small for today's Mpsa scanning methods to detect.

If I had the same MPsa scan in 2018, it is highly possible other metastasis sites would be found, even if
all the metastases and the PG itself had gone into remission. There can be a point where one chases an
increasing number of targets all over the body again and again with increasing sense of futility and
increasing expense.  

Epworth Hospital must have invested heavily in bringing Calypso IMRT and Mpsa tests to Australia
within last 18 months. Epworth is a "private hospital" which means they charge exactly like wounded
bulls, to ensure their income from patients pays for the investments and returns a healthy profit to those
entitled to such profit from business. The Australian public hospitals are often starved of funds for the
latest equipment available.  

Following the month long pause to think, I returned to Melbourne at beginning of July to proceed with
the Calypso IMRT for both PG and 2 lymph nodes. I signed what had to be signed, giving verbal
uninformed consent because the doctors could not answer all my questions.

The proposed PG salvation radiation was to be done exactly the same way as in vented by one
Dr Gary Shultz in USA. in 2011, The American Journal of Clinical Medicine published an article about
Gary's and its easy to Google, but there are no records of any trials or patient records to support Gary
Shultz's claim in AJCM that remission occurred in all 45 patients he claimed to have treated. 

These patients had previous EBRT which had failed stop the Pca. Gary's technique is to apply an extra
31Grey to PG with continuing ADT and blockade ( Lucrin + Cosudex ). Calypso IMRT was less
damaging to surrounding body than the standard EBRT so the target radiation level could be increased
by about +50%.

Only brachytherapy with many radiated inserts could deliver more radiation to a PG than any external
beams. So, Gary's treatment seemed TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I have no idea if Gary treated 345
patients and had 45 successes, while not mentioning the other 300, who may have died since 2011,
suffering numerous tragic side effects and recourse to other futile treatments.

It was not unreasonable for me to ask a professional radiologist that he provide evidence for the
likelihood that what he proposed might work. I was forced to swallow the idea that there was no
real evidence that the Gary Shultz method worked any better than the treatment I'd already had
- which hadn't worked.

There was more blind hope than skepticism in my mind. Even if later I find that over time it
was a failure, was it not worth a try?

The alternatives available earlier this year included juggling of castration methods and chemical
blockade of testosterone, and then inevitable metastasis and a slow death with one chemical
after another. The Internet is riddled with postings by men who are diagnosed with Pca, then get
treated, and a few find they really do get remission but many then go for years living with Pca
and suffering the sexual mutilation and premature aging of the treatments. They stop posting
about about it. The ones who continue posting are those battling on, with some having their
wives or children posting when the man has become quite sick, and facing the inevitable.
Was I not going to go down over time?

I have been sitting on Puff The Magic Prostate Grenade since diagnosis in 2009, and it is likely
to explode any time soon. The Medical System failed to protect me by ensuring early diagnosis
because the Psa threshold level for treatment is 5.0. It is 3.0 in UK, and had it been 3.0 here in
Oz, I would have been diagnosed in 2005. 

Despite the lack of evidence held by the top Epworth professionals, I accepted their help and
the help of a diligent team of young bright radiation operators at the Epworth Centre.
There was more than one team, and all were busy, but reliably punctual and friendly.
The estimate of costs was presented to me at $22,000 at July 2. I had to pay large invoices each
week, without having any clear indication of what the items were or what the Medicare refund
would be. The costs at end of treatment ballooned to about $26,000, with some outstanding bills
still to be paid when I get some explanation of what was done when I discuss all the invoices with
a Medicare staff member. So far, Medicare has paid me about $11,000. The Epworth staff said a
private health insurance fund would not have covered my costs to any greater extent.
Not all the item numbers listed in invoices at a Private hospitals will attract a large payment from
Medicare. So when you go to Epworth, make sure you are flush with cash before you turn up. 
The sobering thought is that this treatment in the USA would have cost $50,000, and there would
be no Medicare funding, and the cost of a 6 week stay in USA would be very high.

I returned to ACT on August 9, and waited a week, then had a Psa test which measured 0.73,
so Psa had fallen to 1/4 of the level it had been before IMRT.

The doctor said I might see a Psa "flare", ie, a rise of Psa immediately after IMRT. and then he
said Psa should fall. The Psa did not flare, it just dropped, and then has continued to drop over
last 6 weeks to 0.51 at 21 September.

HOWEVER, I am very skeptical about whether the IMRT achieved any Pca reduction.

The EBRT in 2010 did little to halt my Pca. ACT doctors told me the EBRT could work a
miracle. But St Vincent's Hospital In Sydney have a document on their website which says
Gleason 9 tumors like mine have only 10% chance of being stopped with EBRT.
Basically, the surgeon in ACT who attempted the RP in 2010 found too much cancer to
 proceed, then palmed me off to the next best treatment, radiotherapy, and those guys seemed
rather over optimistic........

The ADT has been main agent to keep my Psa low.

Before I began the IMRT in mid July, I also began to take 50mg Cosudex pills each day.
Gary Shultz recommended that the daily dose should be 150mg, but the Epworth doctor said
50mg was plenty. I was told via an old lady radiation nurse that 150mg pills were not available
in Australia. I asked if I should take 3 pills a day. There was never a clear answer.
More BULLSHIT. Cosudex acts to block testosterone getting into receptor cells at the PG tumor.
So with Lucrin to reduce the level of testosterone, 50mg / day may be enough to give enough
blockading. How was I to really know? The idea behind RT is to damage Pca DNA, and then
the lack of available testosterone prevents cell division and re-growth so Pca cells are more
likely to die instead.
Its a good common sense theory, but the reality of cancer  chemistry is far more complex, and
not all known.

In 2010, there was no prolonged  with Cosudex, just a for a month before starting ADT with
Eligard ADT.
IMHO, It seems like I should have been given ADT Cosudex and anything else they could have
thrown at it in starting on the day I was diagnosed in 2009.

Before 2016, the only time I was given Cosudex was at the beginning of ADT ( Eligard or Lucrin)
to "lessen side effects" of ADT for a month before commencing ADT. Not a word was said about
what Cosudex actually did. But it has always caused a rapid initial fall of my Psa, and most of what
I am seeing now is probably due to this chemical. 

I missed the monthly shot of Lucrin for July. However these monthly shots have at least a month
of overlap if you miss an injection.

Whether the IMRT has worked at all will become obvious in years ahead if Psa continues to fall,
and especially if I have stop the ADT with Lucrin and blockade with Cosudex.

The latest Psa graph update shows a rapid decline of Psa level between 18 July and 16 August.
Between 16 August and 22 September, about 5 weeks, Psa fell from 0.73 to 0.51 in 37days.

Therefore the "Psa halving rate" is now 64 days, about 2 months. If that trend continues then in 6
months after 16 August the Psa may be 0.1, in February 2017. If Psa rate of fall was linear, Psa
would be zero by some time in January 2017. Cancer is a disease that can rise logarithmically
2,4,8,16,32 because cell numbers double after a time period. But I doubt the rate of decline of
cancer cells cannot even be predicted, although some cancers cease their existence abruptly when
surgery succeeds to remove all of it.

I gave up all alcohol in July 2014 and I see NO REASON to break out champagne to celebrate a win.  

So, forecasting future Psa level can be an irrational form of stupidity. Nobody could ever make any
reliable forecast. In another month my Psa may well begin to rise again without me having much way
to stop it, apart from chemo therapy, and while taking measures to better manage the suppression and
blockading of testosterone.

For the first two weeks after my return to ACT after the 5 week "Medical Holiday", I thought I had
escaped sustaining radiation side effects. But then 2 weeks after treatment, WHAMMO, I am hit
suddenly with severe diarrhea and my bowel producing large gas and mucus flows and uncontrollable
 bowel irregularity. I've had 2 weeks of fecal incontinence and "explosive shitting events" where I filled
underwear with poo while rushing to a toilet. The usually good rhythm of bowel has gone, and my
rectum seems badly affected by radiation.

There are warnings in literature about EBRT which I had in 2010 and general warnings given in
literature. The protection offered by the installing of a hydrogel pad between rectum and PG seems to
be minimal. I am having much worse greater bowel troubles now than I had after the radiation in 2010
after the EBRT. So was the hydrogel inserted properly? Methinks the doctor who inserted 3 RF beacons
to my PG and the hydrogel needs to much improve his methods. I will not say the word incompetent.
It remains to be seen how well I recover in coming weeks and months.

My condition is now being monitored by my GP and whoever else may help, and it seems I am suffering
severe acute colitis after radiation. Google is full of information with videos about this terrible condition
which could go on indefinitely. Just what may possibly be done to alleviate the effects quite unclear so far,
but I probably will have to be seen by a gastro doc. I am not bleeding much, but continue with little
regularity some pain, and discharge of gas and mucus.

Stop rolling your eyes, all this may happen to YOU.

The literature supporting Calypso and the use of hydrogel would appear to be most misleading.

So if you seek similar treatment to what I just had, assume you will sustain WORSE side effects than
the doctors indicate may occur. Usually they fob off everything you say, avoid all difficult questions.
They just want you to accept treatment to keep their income coming in.

I do not know if the bowel damage sustained at Epworth will be permanent. There have been cases at
other hospitals around the world where much worse damage to bowel/rectum has been sustained despite
evidence suggesting that damage would occur.

I read of a classic case in Sweden in 2003 described by caption "how not to do radiation". They just
repeated normal EBRT like I had in 2010, and over half the patients endured the problems with fistulas
forming where a rectum wall ruptures and shit exits into perineal cavity and with bleeding and infection
and pain. Such bowel/rectum damage can only be fixed by removal of large section of bowel, formation
of a stoma so an external shit bag can be worn. Radiated tissues in this operation have to be avoided
because once cut, they do not heal and may bleed for days or weeks. And the article said there was
not much remission of Pca. 

Before going to Epworth, I was still having occasional bleeds from rectum as a result of EBRT in 2010.
These bleeds were bright red arterial blood which occurred if the shit was lumpy. There was never more
than half a spoonful. The bleed lasted only seconds. In 2013, a specialist  gastro doc could not find where
the bleeds were coming from during a colonoscopy in 2013 to check for bowel cancer.
He had thought I had piles, but none were found. I met a bloke at Pca support group who went on a
world cruise after EBRT, and he bled cup-fulls of blood. So he surely had a "bloody holiday", and I
guess it was a voyage of worry for him and his nice supportive missus.
A week after I began IMRT on July 18, I needed to get up at night to piss up to 7 times. I began to
need to take a nightly Tamsulosin pill aka Flomaxtra to reduce PG swelling and resulting constriction
of the prostatic urethra, making pissing slow, and laboured.

I continue taking a Flomax pill each night since I began treatment to get a better sleep. The bladder
seems to have survived. I still can stop or start flow at will. But experts say that the control I have now
will reduce to complete urine continence because of long term radiation damage. The radiation doc told
me the May scan indicated my bladder wall muscle has much thickened because of its extra work over
last 7 years to squeeze the piss through a reduced size of prostatic urethra. Once my bladder decides to
squeeze, I need to get to a loo fast or the sphincter control is insufficient while trying to stop the pissing
with pelvic floor muscles. Keeping a piss bottle handy when not close to a toilet is completely sensible !!
I spend 95% of my time alone, and there is nobody such as a fussy wife to become upset by seeing
an old man easing a problem in a practical manner. 

I have a date with a continence nurse soon to discuss better ways to manage degradation of my bladder
and bowel function by radiation.

On July 1 I had the gel inserted and 3 RF beacons inserted to PG tissue using some kind of applicator
tool and guided by ultrasound. The beacon position in the PG is somewhat critical to ensure the beacons
can give the right information to guide the IMRT Varian machine using Calypso software.
If the PG position moves during IMRT, the beams follow the moving target - in theory - and just how s
uccessful this is anyone's guess. The beacon applicator tool was never described to me, but it was a
"transient" procedure, and doc cited difficulty with the tissue hardness of my PG. I felt I was among
fools who blamed me or their tools for their difficulties.

The beacon implants and gel insert was done between 12noon and 1pm, Friday 1July. Because I was
unaccompanied by a partner or carer, I was compelled to stay a night at Epworth ( at a cost of $860
I later found ). I was not permitted to just go back to a hotel room, which was normal for other Calypso
IMRT patients who were having IMRT following an RP. But it turned out to be necessary for the night's

Blockage and inconveniences.
At 8pm, 7 hours after beacon implanting, I could not piss. I dosed off, and at 2:30AM I remained
blocked. I asked the ward nurse to phone the doctor about what next. The male nurse spoke poor
English and seemed incompetent and un-communicative, inspiring no confidence in me. But the phone
call occurred, and it worried the doc who had done the beacon insert. An intern arrived at bedside with
a catheter, another poor English speaker, and he was very nervous about what he had to do. I had to
calm him down, and prevent over eagerness to push catheter lest it rupture my urethra somewhere.
We got it done OK, and I have NO APOLOGIES to anyone for being quite SURLY about it all
when I wasn't trying to calm upset middle aged male nurses easily offended, and from Philippines
or south America, it seemed. No pretty girl nurses in wards at 3AM, no specialist doctors either.

The catheter was pushed through a soft blood clot which blocked the prostatic urethra. The bleeding
continued for some hours with blood seeping backwards up into bladder. I spent a second day at
Epworth ( another $860 ) until they were happy for catheter to be removed and bleeding had subsided
enough for me to be "sent home", ie, to my lodging at Ryder Cheshire, a place run by a charity entity.
The cause of bleeding was never fully understood by docs, and I figured blood from within cut prostate
tissue with beacons had found an exit pathway via sperm ducts to the prostatic urethra, where it was
able to pool and form a clot and blockage without disturbance from piss flow from bladder to penis.
This blood eventually washed out once the catheter was inserted to bladder past two sphincters.
The removal of catheter was without pain. In the week following being sent to lodgings, my emails
with doctors indicated they did not know whether they had punctured my bladder or punctured my
prostatic urethra or both, while trying to insert the 3 RF beacons. Without spelling it out, the doc
inserting beacons could not see what he was doing. The Ultrasound image maker used to monitor
such things was not letting him see clearly. So he was stabbing in the dark.

I did get a visit from the insert doc on morning after blockage who said he did have difficulties,
and that I was THE FIRST patient to be having salvation radiation after having had only EBRT as
primary treatment.

On the second morning of my hospital stay, another doc arrived to chat. He said he had done 1,500
brachy-therapies, and he said less than 1 in 60 patients had bleeding problems and that most of those
were like me, from interstate, and he didn't know why. Nor did I because such info was just irrelevant
bullshit; why was he there? why talk to me? what magic thing was he going to do to alleviate my
problems? - nothing he could think of.

But, brachy-therapy patients can have up to a hundred radioactive needle size inserts injected into
PG with a special tool, less than 2mm dia, and all the little needle stick injuries all heal within a day
because they are still healthy, and have not been weakened like the cells in my PG which have had
70Grey. The PG tissue will become weak after the radiation of BT has done its work over a few weeks.
The BT level can be over 125Grey. The radiation only travels 1cm from each insert pellet before all
being absorbed. The radioactive isotope used in each inserted pellet has a short half life which fades
down over weeks to negligible levels. This way a known high amount of radiation is given without
the effects of rays penetrating adjacent organs.
The BT radiation is known as the best type to have. But it is more expensive, and in 2009, was not
available for me as far as I knew. No doctor mentioned I should get it. Besides, its only radiation, and
with a Gleason 9 tumor, the chance of it working was only 50% - maybe. I was told to have EBRT, it
was supposed to be as good, but it just ain't, and later I found St Vincents's Hospital in Sydney has
literature at their website which says the probability of Pca recurrence after EBRT for a Gleason 9
tumor was 90%. 

I explained to both these visiting docs that success of interplanetary space missions depended on
rocket scientists having to investigate every possible way shit can happen. I'd been previously well
radiated, and both docs didn't see that I was probably 100% likely to bleed, and I was not in the
category of the 1.66% of BT patients who bleed after BT insertions. I suspect the hospital charged
me for the unwarranted unwanted chat on Sunday morning. Most docs are not driven by charity,
and the Sunday doc must have been curious, maybe informed by other doc. And my payments to
Epworth paid for his curiosity. 

After being told I was the first patient for re-radiation and this made me realize I was nothing more
than a laboratory rat for docs to experiment upon without ANY useful info from the USA doc who
recommends this process. If the docs want my respect, they must earn it. 

I left the Epworth Free Masons ward on Sunday afternoon July 3 and settled in at lodgings run by
Ryder Cheshire which is an independent entity which has volunteer workers only, except for one
lady who does the books for a total of about 50 one bedroom apartments with two beds for the many
ppl from faraway regions of Victoria and NSW. Maybe there were 40 ppl staying, with many cases
of breast and prostate cancers. This WONDERFUL place allows allows patients and partners or
guardians / carers to have cheap lodgings for a typical stay of 6 weeks. One woman had had 29
courses of radiation, others had lost a lung, or were in a much worse position than myself.
THAT was humbling.

I walked a kilometer to shops for basic groceries, and knees felt very sore, and I was still bleeding
from dick a bit from minor op 2 days before. I had another week to wait before being "measured up"
before another week of radiation planning. Those first 2 weeks of my stay at Cheshire was very pleasant,
and there was a mobility scooter available which I used to go to shops, and to a fine Lebanese restaurant,
the Gorgia Cafe in Ivanhoe which became my daily eatery for the 2 weeks where there was no daily
radiation. They had Wi-Fi, so I could email the doc to ask so many questions about why I had bled,
and what was really supporting the claims by Dr Gary Shultz in USA. The bleeding kept going for a
week, and I do not know if I bled from incision entry point for beacons into the perineal area. There
were maybe 5 eateries in Ivanhoe, the Georgia was best I tried, but one night I shouted a dinner with
a friend at an Italian food place with all Chinese staff. There plates were huge, the cost astronomical,
and hardly anything on the plate, so real rip-off joint. 

During the weeks with no radiation, I asked more questions and ended up asking the director doc
to email Dr Shultz to find out more. I said better methods are needed for placing RF beacons to
avoid damaging or cutting things like bladder or prostatic urethra during injections. I said he will
have other patients like me so he needed to be ready with improved methods. It is possible he totally
ignored all I typed. He ended up admitting there was no information available about Dr Shultz's
patients and that I had now been fully informed and that was that.

10 days after the minor surgery, I did try to visit an aquatic center near my lodgings to swim a bit,
400M, and I bled again, so I gave up all silly notions of doing any exercise while in Melbourne.
Melbourne has its attractions at night with fine classical music concerts. I didn't go to one. I just
felt isolated and alone. But after my return home to ACT, I heard ABC Classic FM recordings of
those concerts - WONDERFUL !!

The radiation treatments began on 18 July and were completed on August 9. At 10AM each day I had
IMRT to PG and to upper chest targets. At 4PM I had a second round of IMRT to PG only. I filled in
time by doing web-page work with my laptop. There were 4 radiation staffers and 2 nurses in an office
who had little to do with me except to lecture me about having a gas free and shit free rectum.
They managed to give me enough potty training to always arrive gas&shit free for RT, and with 500ml
of water in bladder. After return to ACT, I have had 3 brief emails from the head radiation doc asking
about my bladder and bowels. All was cordial without me bashing the man with questions was never
going to answer. He must have winced when he tried to read the screen fulls of history and suggestions
and about my terrible fecal incontinence. I doubt he read much at all. I am not officially in his care any
longer, and there's little need to contact him. He may read this here.

A week after I returned to ACT, I climbed back onto bicycle. No more bleeding. The entry point for
surgical gadgets under crutch had healed OK - not radiated.  I was able to increase distance and speed,
and I regained my fitness levels close to what I had in mid July before the Melbourne trip. But I did notice
that I breathed more heavily riding uphill, and there has been some damage to lung tissue.
The doc did say I might have some difficulty swallowing and a sore esophagus, but I had neither.
I seemed to burp more and suffer some slight indigestion. Appetite has remained good but since August 9,
and increased bowel irregularity has not stopped me eating the same vegetarian diet. However, I like to make
my salads with green fresh green vegetables which i can heat in microwave to make them more easily
digested. There is no need for so much raw food.

Weight has bounced down a Kg while in Melbourne, then up 2Kg, then down again, as irregularity manifests
itself with erratic disposal of bowel biomass. Once past the acute irregular shit-in-pants events, I now have a
regular form of irregularity, with rectum not happy with handling shit, and wanting to spurt mucus and gas at
least 10 times a day.

My resting heart rate in mornings is 50, up slightly from the 48 last July. it takes more time for HR to
go lower even after short rides. I have a pain in the lung on right side, similar to having  cracked rib some
years ago, so I assume I have poorer lung function, so heart beats faster to get more blood around to be
oxygenated at the lower rate. So the Melbourne treatment had a slight worsening effect on my cardio
vascular health. I was told the two distant Pca spots were in 2 lymph nodes. Their position looked like
they were in my lungs. I have ZERO idea of exactly what was radiated in upper thorax; the machine is
able to gain enough info from scans to aim at whatever volumes are on scan without any other tests able
to proove that indeed the spots were at lymph nodes, and not within my lungs. So I can only cross my
fingers. I am just a dumb ( and irritating patient ) who just cannot trust the education and experience
of doctors unless they proove they know what they are doing. The world is full of well educated fools
 on good wages, and beyond anyone's ability to scrutinize their efforts. Shakespeare wrote many plays
about powerful blokes and sheilas who were were so flawed......

Last February, I joined the the waiting list for two new knee joints at Calvary Hospital in Canberra.
Walking further than 100M has become painful, and scans in 2014 proved I need two new joints, all
propelled by the crummy genetics I inherited from my dearest mother's genes. She hated all vigorous
exercize, and I never ever saw her raise a sweat. She did like to swim, and I watched her extremely slow
motion in a pool where I took her when she was 73. She got through to 98 years of life as a mindful
plodder, an attribute we both had. She had few athletic attributes which allowed others to do twice what
she did. I am much the same, but I inherited my father's zest for exercize; he set a schoolboy record for
The Mile in about 1924, and rowed well for the posh school. He was always ready for real stinky sweaty
work for real men and I often helped him eagerly with the work around the house and at his vet practice.
But he neglected a melanoma on his leg, and he died at 60.

If my cancer continues to outwit the doctors and I need chemo therapy, I won't get those new knees.
The waiting list was 12 months, but Calvary contacted me for pre-admission in mid August. I told them
I needed more time to allow doctors to decide if I was likely to have a long remission time and hence
allow the knee surgery. It would be extremely pleasant to be able to walk 800meters to the local shop
and, and that would greatly help my health and help reduce bone density loss due not using legs walking.
I could also ride a lot further, and I can say I would be most eager to do all the rehabilitation needed
after knee surgery.

As I mentioned above, I spent much time in Georgia Cafe in Hiedleberg Road for lunch. The cafe is
run by a Lebanese family which sells home cooked Lebanese food including meat and vegetarian
dishes. There was always enough vegetarian variety for me; I don't eat any meat. Theo and his sister
Naz of about 25 are behind the counter and helped by their mum and food is home cooked before each
day and maybe other family members help. Melbourne has a huge selection of eateries, but this place
was my natural selection because it was 1.2km from lodgings, food is good, not expensive, and
atmosphere is entirely clean and cheerful. What more could a man want? And there is Wi-Fi, and comfy
tables and chairs, so I could sit there for hours doing emails and reading newspapers, and having long
chats with other customers. Access to the cafe was with a mobility scooter which I also used to get
shopping done.

For weekdays with radiation there were cars provided to get patients from Ryder Cheshire to several
hospitals, all driven by eager volunteers between 55 and 70. There were some spirited discussions
every other day on the 1/2 hour drives. Most patients had only one radiation per day, so they were
driven home by the volunteers. I was the only one doing two radiations per day, at least 6 hours apart,
and Epworth Centre staff gave me taxi vouchers for a free ride home in slow peak hour traffic which
cost an average of $33. There is also a good train service from Ivanhoe to West Richmond, and station
to hospital is 300M, walkable, but from Ivanhoe station to Ryder there is bus 548, which reduces walk
from 1.4km to 300M. There are also taxis from station to Ryder. I may have had to stand while using
public at peak hour times. I do not know if Epworth charged me for the "cab vouchers", but I would
not be surprised.

Ryder Cheshire refused to take a cent off me for the accommodation. They didn't seem to know what
rate to charge me, which depended on whether Epworth would pay them, at a higher rate than they felt
they could charge me if I paid direct, ie, $20 per night for 31 nights. I suspect Epworth did pay them,
and paid $38 per night, and probably the accommodation costs are buried in the invoices from Epworth
and I cannot claim a cent, although Epworth did have me fill out forms for ACT Government assisted
travel expenses, so any re-reimbursement went to Epworth Hospital, not me. The accounting from
Epworth is clear as a bottle full of mud, and needs an accountant to sort it all out.

But I gave the Ryder Cheshire a donation of $1,000 before I left. I could have paid about $2,400 at a
hotel in Richmond near the hospitals. If I need accommodation again in Melbourne, perhaps they may
host me again. It is a lovely simple old fashioned place to stay with ppl about who have troubles like
Before my Melbourne treatments a gentleman there emailed me to to describe his IMRT which
followed his RP some months before at the same hospital to which I went. I'd been in touch with
Paul in 2004 when I described a method for making a choke for use in an audio amp he was making.
We share an interest in Hi-Fi technologies. His descriptions of what happened to him gave me
confidence that side effects might be minimal, and that radiation treatment itself was quite tolerable,
and that the hospital staff were very nice. Most of this turned out to be quite true. But since his IMRT
after his RP, his Psa is rising and he's panicking a bit, like many men do when Psa goes from say 0.1
to 0.2, after the initial treatment. ANY RISE of Psa is a dreadful event and his battle and mine have
only just hotted up. It is possible he has metastases somewhere.
But he has not begun ADT, and if he did, his Psa may go very low for several years as happened with
me, and I began with  PG that was NOT removed, and a inoperable Gleason 9 monster. Paul will live
many years yet, and probably more years than I will, and I'm 10 years older, and much more likely
to go down in 5 years, before any magic cure arrives.

Good links...
Subscribe to this site for continual emails of latest progress in research and drug trials :-
Psa level between age 40 and 60 indicate lethal Pca in later years :-

If Psa is above 1.0 at age 59 there is good reason to worry.......
Up to 29 May 2016.
My prostate cancer progress presents a bigger battle in coming months. All those people
who said I would get better and that I didn't have anything to worry about and that alternative
therapies would work WERE ALL WRONG. Today I cycled 45km to give a total of 136km
for the last week. Weight is 84.2Kg, resting heart rate = 52 bpm at 1 hour after the ride,
48 bpm this AM, and nice steady beats with no double beats or missed beats. My vegans diet
 is continuing, and I have to be honest, its 95% vegans because I do allow low fat milk for my
tea, and 150 grams of salmon from fish farms in Tasmania. I quit all coffee 2 months ago after
 realizing it contributed to feeling too hyper after 3 coffees, and probably caused a bout of
uneven fast and slow HR just after last X-mas. I've been on ADT aka HT to block my
testosterone production since 2010, so 6 years now, and I had an eight month pause in
2012-2013, and again last year 2015 for 5 months. After both pauses the Psa shot back up.
Since the last pause and after recommencing HT last August 2015, Psa went to a low of 1.0,
and then began to rise to 1.5 by April 2016. Its now 2.3 so it is doubling each 4 months,
fast, and HT with Lucrin injections is not able to keep testosterone below 0.5 for adequate
suppression of testosterone, hence Psa is rising, and Psa would be 128 in 2 years if nothing is
done about the situation.Before 4 May 2016 I could not find any available trials of new treatments
in Australia. But when I last spoke with my good oncologist he suggested I go to a Melbourne
imaging clinic and consult with a Melbourne radiologist at Epworth Hospital. These together
offered the new benefit of an MPSA +PET scan which shows my cancer status and is a guide to
choice of further beam radiation using the Calypso IMRT method :-

Calypso seems to be the best way to deliver RT to prostate tumors with much less damage to
surrounding organs or bones. I had previous EBRT in 2010 with probable radiation levels of 65Gy,
with some side effects on bowels. The proposed Calypso IMRT uses computer program and implanted
RF beacons and hydrogel to much reduce side effects to bladder and bowel. There are online articles
on Calypso such as....
There are plenty more, and these may confuse patients and make them anxious unless you are a
naturally scientifically minded person like myself.
I also found a video suggesting IMRT was no better than older EBRT,

But I think the IMRT is a much better way to deliver RT for me. Doctors like to tell us to stay
away from Internet which makes us anxious and confused, and just rely on their learning and experience.

But much of what many doctors told me made me anxious and confused.

The anxiety and confusion did not last long in my mind because usually what the doctor says agrees
with what I find on the Internet, and I have a rational mind. Many modern clinical treatments have
been developed over many years of trials which have been regulated by government organizations.

But regulated systems don't always keep patients safe. For example, I should have had a biospy
when Psa reached 3.0, some years before my Psa climbed to 5.0 when the Gleason score had
increased to dangerous 9 and Pca tumor was inoperable ! 

But the fact remains that modern medicine does more good than harm, and I would be dead now
without the treatment I have had.
But despite all the modern wonders of treatment, prostate cancer manages to kill 33% of men
diagnosed. It is highly likely to kill me because I was diagnosed too late, even after having
regular Psa tests, and then finding I had a Gleason 9 tumor with aggressive cell type.

The doctor at Epworth Hospital is the first doctor who was happy to email me with with
considerable information. The IMRT he proposes does seem safe to me, it means 31.2Gy are to be
applied in 26 sessions over 3 weeks, which in theory raises total radiation for my PG to 96.2Grey.
The doctor supplied a paper published in American Journal of Clinical Medicine, Fall, 2011,
Page 170, where one Dr Gary Shultz claims he gave repeated RT to 45 men who ALL had a positive
outcome, ie, Psa began to fall.

I am seeing my good oncologist on 31 May, and my urologist on 8 June, and I will also see the
radiologist who did my EBRT in 2010, on maybe 14 June, to discuss the following :-

1. Details of small amount of Pca spread to 2 lymph nodes in upper thorax.
2. Permissible maximum amount of accumulated radiation to PG.
3. Case histories of patients with similar Pca progress who have had two repeated courses of RT.
4. Possible side effects of bleeding from blood vessels of PG,
5. Possible dysfunction of prostatic urethra, including disintegration, or stricture, interfering
with urination.
6. Possible alternative surgery involving removal of bladder, PG and formation of stoma to
allow ureters from kidneys to drain urine
to external plastic bag. ( 40,000 ppl in Oz wear bags for body waste due to cancer or road
crashes et all, and they have a good life. )
7. Whatever else they tell me, or what I forgot to include here.
I learnt much from Internet from research hospital publications online, Sloan Kettering et all.
Doctors have yet to get rid of my prostate cancer, and quite a number of treatment plans did not
work despite their best intentions and predictions, and to me, not reading the Internet would be
like poking my head in the sand. Am I not entitled to get my info from the Internet just like doctors?
The new PMsa scans have become available in last 12 months, and are on trial in Oz.

It seems the supply of patients for a trial are supplied by a referring doctor, so I probably had
no chance of getting into any trial without a doctor's referral.

My local Canberra oncologist and radiologist both said they had referred patients like me to
hospitals in bigger cities such as Sydney of Melbourne where a bigger range of specialist
services and treatments are slowly becoming available. My local oncologist said patients he
sent away to Melbourne were helped, but not exactly how many or how their life improved,
so I am yet again left to assume there may be some increased lifetime and there was no talk
of a cure or remission.

I am sitting on my Prostate Grenade, and while its growth activities have been slowed by HT,
it does not mean it will just die and fade away. It will slowly swell up and try to choke my
prostatic urethra which will slow my flow to a dribble and affect my kidneys. If left alone,
it will evolve to become a worse form of cancer which is more likely to spread in a rush
- the grenade pin falls out, and floods my blood stream with Pca, and overwhelms my immune
system. The proposed IMRT is the Last Chance I have to intervene with available treatment in
 Australia afaik. If this treatment fails, then I will have to begin chemotherapy, not something
anyone can look forward to.

The expense is minimal for the PET scans and course of radiation, and there are costs for travel
and accommodation. Not much of all this is funded by Medicare.

For 2 days in Melbourne to undergo scans and re-diagnosis, return air fare was $432 aud with
Virgin, a small room at a Quest hotel was at $150 a night. On return, I found cheaper
accommodation for $80, which I may use in future. Some of the costs of traveling outside ACT
for medical treatments may be paid by ACT Govt. There is a special claim form, not much
publicized, and without mention of funds for air fares.

On Monday 2 May, I had a CT scan with radioactive iodine.
Then I was injected with special solution which is able to bind Gallium 68 isotope to places
where any Psa is being produced. A PET scanner used to produce the PMsa scan which tells
doctors and myself just where Psa is being produced now, something nobody has known since
2010. The scan is said to be far more sensitive than a CT scan and very low amounts of Pca are
seen. The main source of Psa is the primary tumor at PG.

On Tuesday 3 May, the radiologist said the PET showed no Pca in bones, bladder or bowel,
rectum, but there were two small amounts in two upper thorax lymph nodes. He said these
would not be a major problem and would be fixed after the main primary tumor has been radiated.
I will need to examine the follow up carefully. Before being sent to Melbourne I didn't think any
more radiation could be used, but it seems I was incorrect. The Melbourne doc said it could be at
a higher dose than the original in 2010. Just what that means wasn't clear, was the total accumulated
radiation to be higher? By how much? My research on Calypso tells me IMRT with 81Gray levels
are possible, above the probable 65Gy levels of 2010. So was the total radiation level to be increased
to 146Gy? I searched all over the net to find what was the maximum safe level of radiation by X-rays
for the prostate gland. Many other parts of body were given nominal maximums, but not the PG.
 I assumed 81Gy. The doc sent me the .pdf showing recommended treatment by Dr Gary Shultz.
It tells us the IMRT applies 31.2Gray to PG, and when added to say 65Gy with the normal EBRT
the total = 96.2Gy. The EBRT in 2010 wasn't a high enough level to halt the tumor growth, but
must have caused some damage, and there has been some recovery, or healing, so the 31.2Gy now
proposed may be well tolerated by healthy tissue, but maybe not tolerated by Pca.

It is assumed healthy tissue will always survive radiation better than cancer cells.
The cancer growth depends on a good blood supply which it extends for itself to do well.
Methinks some cancer is could be much more robust than healthy tissue, and unless all blood vessels
are destroyed by radiation, and surrounding healthy tissue as well, maybe then the cancer might just
give up. 

Any simplistic explanation of how radiation or chemo actually works is likely to be BULLSHIT.

The original EBRT I had in 2010 used old machines with beams at only 4 directions, each
session gave 1 shot vertically up, 1 shot vertically down, and 1 shot horizontal left, 1 shot
horizontally right, with no regard for where the entry and exist beams went, and with poor dynamic
control of beam direction relative to prostate, and unknown beam shaping to conform with shape of
PG seen in accompanying CT scanning. PG can vary up to +/- 6mm due to breathing, and bowel
content movements. Therefore beams are allowed a 10mm margin exceeding the shape of PG, and
this means the rectum walls cop a large dose of RT. I was expected to drink plenty water before each
session to stretch bladder to keep more of it away from PG. 
The Calypso method allows calculation of the best beam directions at many angles all worked out
on a computer prior to the radiation. The intensity of radiation is variable and beam direction is locked
on to tracking information from implanted RF beacons within the PG. Hydrogel is inserted between
PG and rectum and I assume bladder as well to nudge these adjacent organs 12mm away from PG,
So the beam control uses a much more sophisticated computer control program, a benefit of
progress over last 20 years, and thus offers less side effects, and raises the amount of RT allowed
to be given to PG. The hydrogel hardens to being like rubber immediately after insertion, but dissolves
away during 4 following months. Its is said to be entirely inert, and safe to use.

I don't expect very much additional radiation damage to what I have had already, except to prostatic
urethra, all nerves, and thus may bring incontinence.
The doc said the IMRT can be over a week, or 3 weeks. The week of RT suits those wanting the
cheaper cost, and shorter accommodation, and less time off work. Being retired, the longer 3 week 
time suits me, and doc said the longer time gave slightly better results. He said there is a chance
the Tumor Cells Will Be Exterminated. A bit like a Darlek in a Dr Who episode.

Well OK, sure, but all exterminated? will some just modify themselves into something worse?
It is cancer we face, and it is real good at making a fool out of many doctors.

A Psa test 6 weeks later would tell me and my doctors who are all interested if the IMRT has
done anything. Psa is supposed to decline. The worst outcome would be a rapid rise in Psa.
I'll remain on HT, maybe monthly Lucrin shots, and Cosadex.

I have provisionally agreed to go ahead. The doc in Melbourne is happy to do the  RT if my
other doctors have faith in what is to be done, and of course to get to see all the doctors I had
to book appointments and get around the waiting times of up to a month before my turn was
available. There are hundreds of other patients, some in greater need than me. And I have to wait
for one doc to return from time off, and oncologist takes a break a week after I see him.
So unless you get busy to talk to these docs, then expect almost no co-ordination or concern about
yourself. Just make sure you are polite, not ever surly, doctors and specialists are not God, they are
just men or women, and you must make do with whoever is around and I believe this approach
leads to the best evidence based treatment you could have. The oncologist didn't know what
Calypso IMRT was about when I mentioned it. After dealings with me he will learn just what
is on offer; I very much like talking to my doctors, and I try to bring then a concise list of my

Because there is some Pca spread to lymph glands I will have chemotherapy at a later date,
maybe in 2 months time. Nobody knows what might work, or what combination of chemicals
 might work. Many chemicals merely delay the the end game a few months, but in some cases
it gives years of life. There are chemo drugs such as abiraterone, enzalutimide, taxotere,
cabazitaxel, etc.One solution might be the to removal of bladder, PG, and sealing off penile urethra.
Then the two ureters from each kidney are brought together to make a join to a hole at side of
lower abdomen for external urine bag. But because my Pca has some slight systemic spread
 the surgeon may feel it is a pointless exercise. I know a guy who has been through this, he's
lived happily onwards after this op and gets jobs done around the house and his wife still
loves him. Many websites are a cause of confusion and anxiety, but I found this from the UK...
The PET scan showed my bladder is not happy. The bladder is muscular bag with walls
normally 3mm thick to expel urine with an easy squeeze to get urine out along well sized tubing
with few  restrictions. But in my case, the urethra in PG is being strangled making it harder to
expel, so the bladder has built up its muscle thickness to 10mm. I don't realize the effort it makes
and nothing is painful, unless I delay getting to a loo.

I told the Melbourne doctor that men should be able to have their PG removed before cancer
spoils their fun, and before cancer makes it impossible to spare nerves. But he said no 25yo
would want this, but I said many over 55 would much like it, and they are usually able to afford
it. It is rich old men who fund old men's cancer research and treatments.

But prostate surgery often leaves a small number of Pca cells behind, or healthy PG cells
which will develop Pca later if the DNA allows it. I know about 5 men my age well enough to
know their Pg condition; all had surgery, and all had Pca return, and all had "salvation treatment"
with RT. Some had HT, while others didn't, so the HT was a spare weapon up their sleeve if the
Pca progressed.

One friend had surgery over 6 yrs ago, Psa went down to < 0.02 after a year, then hovered for a
year or two, then began to rise to 0.7 before last December. He then had 35 sessions of EBRT
over a month to the area where bladder was joined to urethra. His Psa is now 0.1, and apparently
falling. But his tumor was Gleason 6, and the target for RT was small, so "salvation" RT is more
likely to work. I had Gleason 9, aggressive cells, operation was impossible and I'm in a much
worse situation.

There are idiots who suggest Psa testing is all BS, and treatment does not extend life very much.
But I would now be dead if Psa tests and treatments had not been available.

While surfing the Internet I just found a .pdf document prepared by St Vincents Clinic in
Sydney about the range of things done at this clinic.;CONVERT_TO=url&amp;CACHEID=d4f26437-5af8-46b6-bbed-981b66d7616e

On page 11, there is a table giving Psa levels at which referral to a urologist should occur.
For men of 60-69, the Psa level is 3.0. My Psa would have exceeded 3.0 well before 60, and
my GP did not send me to a urologist until Psa went close to 5.0 in 2009, when the tumor
had grown to be inoperable and with aggressive cells.

So I cannot stress how important it is to be diagnosed early, which means a biopsy at Psa = 3.0,
regardless of other public health guidelines based on Psa of 5.0.

Other good reading about radiotherapy, UK

General info about survival rates, USA

From what the Harvard site says, I had a 90% chance of recurrence of Pca after the
"normal" level of EBRT used at Canberra Hospital. The recurrence of Pca was masked
by action of HT, so the recurrence was seen in three rises of Psa when I ceased HT 18
months after initial RT. The maximum rate of Psa rise was much faster than 2ng/L per year.
My vegans diet includes large amounts of raw vegetables and herbs in salads, and regular
quinoa plus almonds boiled together, tiny amounts of low fat milk, sugar, salt. I use virgin
olive oil in many things, but it amounts to less than everyone else's fat intake. I don't eat
any junk food, ever, no chips, deep fried anything, no alcohol, no coffee, no cheese, and
I really don't know anyone else who eats like I do.
The ONLY way ppl get fat is because they eat too much. Regardless of all other considerations
or invented feel-good justifications or theories anyone anywhere says about food and weight,
if you stack on more weight beyond what is ideal for you at 35, ie, when your BMI should
have been less than 25, then you have eaten too much. I was at my fittest at 42, and weighed
82Kg. I could ride a bicycle 300km in a day at 28kph average. And I have quite poor athletic
genes. I'm now 84Kg, and bike speed is now down to 20kph because muscles have weakened
at 69, and I've been chemically castrated for 6 years now. The weight change is about -5Kg
muscle, +7Kg fat, but I still have BMI about 25.0. Despite the terrible condition of my knees
which need titanium joints, I still manage to ride over 100km a week.

I weigh myself naked each morning on electronic scales, and plot each day's starting weight
on a graph in my hand-written journal I've been doing for last 55 years. Only one person
controls food flow down your neck, HE IS YOU.

What you eat should be full of vitamins and micro-nutrients. As we age, we need less food
calories, but we need good nutrition. We have less muscle weight and we do not need extra
protein or extra carbohydrates; you need less of all things which are calorific.

Breakfast for me is a bowl of chopped raw kale, one raw tomato, one spoon of olive oil,
a sprinkle of turmeric and salt with iodine, and a pot of green tea. I don't need to eat between
8am and midday. Lunch is one vegetable only sandwich and a pot of tea. I found it very
easy to accept the more frugal existence despite my improved finances and the booming roar
of advertising shouting at me to eat and drink garbage, and spend my way to being happy.
Over eating is poisonous, over spending makes you sad. Dinner is a salad  with many green
things and red capsicums etc, and staple food is boiled quinoa with some almonds, which
need to be cooked to allow their goodies to be absorbed. I eat maybe 5 small green apples
after dinner to midnight. Being chemically castrated means I have almost no testosterone
which slows down my metabolism which has me feeling the cold more. I am unable to burn
excess calories and any slight excess calories become fat shortly after eating.
For the first 4 years of ADT, erections rarely ever occurred spontaneously, but any seductive
images if females brought Roger to life and then this all changed to less often, and signals to
Roger became muddled and only due to a full bladder unlike previous years where this rarely
happened before treatments.The ADT ruined all my sexual abilities by end of 2014.
Whatever pleasurable sensations I could have become so dulled that any possible sexual
excitement became not worth pursuing, and absence of testosterone has caused penile atrophy,
with fibroids forming in tissues resulting in erectile deformity, ie, a dick with bend, and very
fragile skin. I have the kind of dick no female would ever want have anything to do with.
Medical treatment for prostate cancer always kills Roger.

Most men would not prefer to know the results of long term ADT. I was highly hetero sexual
and capable of pleasing myself or any female until about 2013, 66yo. I have now accepted that
between now and my death it is highly unlikely any female would ever want to have anything
to do with me at all, but then females have a far more reduction of sexual ability and desire
from a much earlier age; I have seen many at 30 having completely abandoned any desire for
any man, and looking fat and repulsive. Friendship and companionship are just bullshit ideas;
they don't happen.

But for most of my life between 18 and 66 and when I was in good physical, mental, and
financial condition, no woman ever valued me, except for the temporary availability of getting
laid by a fucking expert. Such expertise really means SFA in many women's minds.
Nobody knows what is in women's minds, they don't, but whatever it is, it can change hourly,
or faster. I found that a man could be the nicest fellow on the planet and still find women
unwilling to marry or to "belong to to the two of us". Unless this idea is fulfilled, sex is
valueless and ultimately displeasing. I was always open to friendship, but I found all women
would want sex, and then want all manner of favours performed such as me magically
transforming myself to being perfect, even though they themselves could have easily written
a textbook on "69 Ways To Be A Selfish Bitch". Friendship cannot survive with such female
agendas, and I don't have any female friends at all. Not one woman of the past ever honored
the idea of remaining friends after moving out, and had they done so, their stupid angry
jealous husbands they later married would have beaten then up, while they felt so guilty if
they rang to say hello. After the affairs they had with me, they'd flounce off angrily to the
next poor man and drain him out too. I could read a newspaper in peace.

Good men don't mind the work of living with a female, they pay the price of love, but when
females cannot make commitments to a shared future, it perpetuates the War of the Sexes.
So sex with any F after a certain age becomes a liability - not enjoyable if the F is likely to be
irrationally angry in your face after a few months, or a few hours. Although I keep thinking
about sex, and having some female company in my life, it is just my silly dreaming.

All the men I have known who have had an RP operation have had instant ED which was
not later overcome by Viagra or she who sucks hard all night. Of course the RP does not
reduce testosterone, so the man feels the want and the itch to have sex, but cannot.

So what does a man do after being mutilated by prostate cancer and its treatment? I could
rave on all day, but if the man is married, he might need to learn how to use a vibrator with
the attitude of "vibrant intimacy" that is acceptable to his wife, GF, or whoever. The chance
of making a fool of himself is huge, and one thing's for sure, a real Roger won't be present.
Alas, maybe 80% of couples who are 60 have not had sex since 40 because each has become
so terribly unattractive to each other, distorted caricatures of what they were at 25 when did
it every other night. A man may feel threatened if his wife cannot adjust to never having sex
again. Suck it up fella; one of the the marriage deal clauses says "In sickness and in health..."
So, get on with it. Stay or leave. Just don't mope about feeling sorry your Roger cannot poke
Ms Fanny any more.
From what little I know about enduring couples, some females may bless the day a man
ceases to want sex, the female menopause atrophies her lust. Some men would have a penile
prosthesis installed, but I have not heard of any man able to describe sex favourably in terms
of how he feels during use of it. It is a possible solution that may be more likely to be effective
if a man has full testosterone. But the man who has been on ADT for 4 plus years would
have such little lust in him and have so much total penile atrophy that getting a hard on by
any means at all may not yield pleasure, only a sense of power of being able to penetrate.
IMHO, that seems weird, because I hate inflicting power on anyone else; the intimacy of
sex and its pleasure had to always be a joint experience. I suggest an older man must seek
the woman who doesn't need sex, but who can still love well; sex itself IS NOT love, at least
it surely isn't after 25. Of course women mostly become allergic to men after they've had the
kids, and their hormones dictate that they have no more sex. I did recently hear of a man of 85
who lost his wife of 50 years. He planned to marry a nice young Thai girl of 55, and it seems
to me a perfect example of stupidity, with a high chance of heartbreak combined with loss of
savings, and of course he cannot discuss any matters relating to the Roger. If an older man
finds that his old wife is the woman he seeks for love, then he is indeed lucky. But a major
loss of any person's physical attributes is always a psychological hurdle to get over.

Beware the bottle of whiskey. I found all young women soon vamoosed when the reality of
the required co-operation together caused a Female Allergic Reaction. Love is such a dreadful
threat to so many ppl. I doubt any doctor has any answer to the not so uncommon malady of
where people look me in the eye to tell me "I Hate Love". I once read this written in large
painted letters on one of Canberra's cycle paths. The fact remains that many ppl hate love.
17 February 2016
Not much to report since last January. I ceased riding my bike late last October, and now
I am trying to lose the Kg I put on. Becoming Totally Vegans might do it, and help prevent
the severe effects of inflammation in my knees. There is theory lurking in minds of
"healthologists" that eating or any other animal product, eggs, all dairy junk, and cheese junk
triggers the immune response to attack cartilage because of molecular similarity.
While young, most of us can eat anything without any worry, except for fact most ppl eat way
 too much of everything, and including excess sugar, fats and processed carbohydrates.
But as age embraces us, it makes us ache in our joints, and the less we do to encourage
this, the better. I find this true for myself and without knowing if any of a myriad number
of theories about diet and health are in any way true, or proven.

Anyway, for me, a fairly strict vegetarian diet is better than taking any pain killers, and it is
natural to me to NEVER EVER buy ANY JUNK FOOD, including all meat. Not even Lindt
chocolate bars or a monthly bottle of red wine. Sure they taste nice, but the health benefits are
extremely low, and whatever chocolate you eat, you can't avoid the huge fat/sugar content even
though the packaging claims "85% pure cocoa. With wine at 12.5% alcohol, its much more
calorie riddled than green tea. Anyway, I have slowly gained a Kg over 3 months, and I thought
150grams of skinless chicken 3 times a week was OK, but no, it ain't. I used to ride for 10 hours
a week, and had a need for protein, but with being sedentary, there's just no need for so much,
and I figured I was getting enough protein for reduced activity. With chemical castration with
Lucrin, to combat Pca, my body has become unable to burn of any excess calories. Right now,
height = 1.845M, weight 85Kg, BMI = 24.9 I should be less. Waist is 100cm.

I was 1.865M, and weighed 83Kg, BMI 23.8 when I was very fit and raced on bicycles in 1980s-90s.
My waist now measures 100cm, and in 1990 it was 90cm or less, and I had maybe 4Kg less fat and
4Kg more muscle. Even though my BMI was 24 at 42 , I still had a much higher fat % than the
quickest people I raced against. I was always at a big disadvantage on hills, and in time trials the
slim guys have less volume so they cut through the air faster than I could. Naturally, athletic clubs
attract people who are naturally good at sports, and they beat all the slow coaches like me. Their
ego gets the big lift with wins over those less endowed with great genes. It was sickening to witness
the constant focus on a win. But occasionally I did very well in handicap races.

The idea of BMI and waist measurement does not tell us all about a person. A short weightlifter
may have waist above 100cm, and BMI 30. Weightlifting may be all he can do, but he can find
a happy path in life like everyone else. We are not all the same.
Now as we age, we reduce muscle weight even if we keep exercising. About 80% of us get heavier,
and lost muscle is replaced by fat, and BMI can remain the same. So the weight of muscles I had are
replaced by fat, especially around the gut. There's much more to grab hold of compared to being 40.
We should get LIGHTER as we age, we all like to live well, and enjoy activity, like cycling, even
though av speed goes down. I have found it is impossible to get lighter, and I'm 3Kg heavier than
I was when fittest at age 40, so my fat % has probably doubled.

But at least I don't weigh 100Kg like so many other guys my age.

My limiting factor is now my joints, with knees leading Nature's charge to reduce my lifestyle.
And while my knees ache, so do hands and wrists and back; whatever my body is doing, it is having
challenges at more than one place. But after doing anything physical, despite the aches and pains,
I am glad I did it, and my mind and body both feel better.
Just after last update, about a month ago, I had a bout of heart fibrillation where HR suddenly
went to 120, and irregular, so I drove to Calvary Hospital where they kept me there till 1AM.
The docs put me on Sotacor, to slow HR. Within 6 weeks HR went back to normal, and I've now
stopped taking the drug. But I am taking 100mg of Cartia, (aspirin ) daily, if I remember, which may
be thinning blood slightly to lessen the hypo-tension I suffer. Hypo-tension is not to be confused
with hypertension. Subsequent heart clinic on 16th Feb looked at heart with Ultrasound, and doc
said my heart looked just great. I said "Hmm, shame about the Pca, I'll be a good lookin' corpse
on the slab after it kills me".
Two weeks ago I had a mechanic fix the brakes on my 1986 Ford Laser. He had it for 5 days,
because suitable parts were not immediately available. This forced me back onto bicycle, and
I rode 100km last week, with 15km ride up the hill to the heart clinic. I figured I'd make it,
and all went fine, if I died on the way, so be it. Doc was not alarmed, but more confident I'd be OK.
A bloke of 30 overtook me up steepest hill and maybe he was trying, but then I caught and passed
him just before the crest. Heck, I'd given the yung turk a 38year advantage, so I realized I wasn't
near death just yet. Don't ask me what caused the bout of HR bothers, but I suspect it was eating
a few dark red carrots; I'd heard dark red vegies are very high in a very good anti oxidant.
Maybe too good. I can't be sure. I've only ever had it once before in 2004, after coming off VIOXX
which later got banned because it killed ppl with heart problems.

Knees didn't ache later as a result of the rides, like they did back in October. Not as bad as in 2004.
We need to keep exercising.

January 7, 2016. Prostate cancer report.
My last Psa test was 18 Dec 2015, and I visit my oncologist later today, 7 January 2016. ADT
hormone therapy continues with Psa is not going down as far or as fast as it has during past
applications of Eligard and Lucrin.

The graph gives my Psa history which explains how my treatment for prostate cancer has
proceeded with ADT and Radiation. My conclusion at present is that Psa is not being held
down to the initial levels achieved when ADT began in April 2010. Since then, I've had two
pauses from ADT, and during both the Psa rapidly rose indicating that radiation did not have
much effect on cancer cells. The underlying value of Psa from 2011 to present 2016 shows that
it is slowly rising, and testosterone is not being fully suppressed by Lucrin injections.

I can see that if the slow rate of increase of my Psa continues, it probably will indicate Pca is
going to spread & kill. Its what cancer does. Use of alternative therapy such as apricot kernels,
about 24mg per day of amygdalin seemed to have zero effect on Psa over a long time
of intake.
Cannabis oil with low THC, high CBD seems to have done nothing between Feb 2015 and
October 2015. My daily dose began at 0.2mg, a very tiny amount, but it was enough to get a
strong high. Sensitivity slowly reduced and at end of period I could take 5mg. I stopped taking
it Oct 2015, and experienced no withdrawal effects. It has been totally non addictive, and gave
me good inner calm feeling about life.

Websites promoting cannabis for cancer cures should be considered snake oil treatments until
proven otherwise.

There have been NO studies of social groups of ppl who regularly smoke or ingest cannabis
products, such as those living in Jamaica et all. I might guess that any studies might show there
are no reductions in cancer rates where it is widely consumed and in tropical regions where it
grows so easily it is hard for authorities to eliminate.  I might add that prostate cancer rates are
worst for those with dark african genes, and there is considerable variation in rates for different
races or genetic blocks of men. There is no way yet for a man to alter his genetic make up to
not endure prostate cancer. Some websites promoting cannabis oil say you need to take a GRAM
 a day but this seems utterly wrong. One gram = 1,000 mg, and has volume = 800 cubic millimetres.
I doubt I ever took more than 6 cubic millimetres a day, a small drop on the end of a little metal
spatula I made. So, assuming I averaged 5 mg a day for 270 days in 9 months, the maximum I
would have used was is 1,350 mg, or just over 1.35grams, or less than 2 cubic centimetres, 2cc,
and not much from initial supply of about 20cc, or 16 grams, which was obtained by my friend from
about 300 grams of harvested Sativa heads. The oil yeild rate is extremely low compared to rate for
the Indica variety that has been subject to genetic selection since 1970s when Indica began to be
grown commercially by hard nosed arsolic criminals who want the product to give a huge high
for a small amount which is cheaper to grow. The Indica sold in most underground sales is
"skunk" and very high in THC which has psychotic large effects so beloved by those subject to
becoming hooked to drugs. There is a very low % of CBD oils in skunk, and its these oils which
give the calming effect, and boost to immune system, if there is any to be had. It turns out that our
bodies produce CBD chemicals naturally for immune system and calming function. Therefore
skunk sold on the streets is having a very bad effect on the hoards of stupid young people who
foolishly believe they can ease the pain of their existence by getting high, and the then so many
suffer schizophrenia or other disorders which make then useless for anything, unemployable, a
nd dependent on welfare. I should know, because I have a nephew who succumbed to mental illness
while trying to keep up with his 2 older brothers, one of whom sold pot to classmates at age 12,
and who went on to become a bankrupt at 23, after dabbling with heroine given to him by a girl friend.
The other brother dabbled in cocaine. These three young ppl had Shit For Brains in the formative
years; nothing could be done to get them on the straight and narrow. They were always allergic to
hard work. 

So I really do know about cannabis and its effects. My friend who prepared my oil for me did not
dilute the oil at all, and in fact it was a dark brown grease, unable to flow.

Had I had tried to take 1 gram of the oil I had daily, I would probably have become extremely ill.
It may have had such a huge psychic effect that I could have a fall or other accident in the house
and done myself an injury. It may have been fatal. Websites promoting cannabis oil for health
say the high from THC need not be strong, just be present, and still allow you to live independently
without risk of accidents, despite the feeling of "being remote" while cooking, or watching TV.
The guys promoting "Medical Cannabis" will insist on telling ppl they need 1 gram a day.
The density of oil = 0.8 grams per cubic centimeter.Therefore 1 gram of oil = 1 / 0.8 = 1.25cubic
centimeters = 1,250 cubic millimeters = 1,250ml.

The guys selling oil know that ppl only need 2.5ml per day of oil to get a high especially with
skunk or a new user taking it for medical reasons.I have seen websites saying you need 60 grams
or 1 gram a day for 2 months for a cancer cure. The active ingredient of raw oil might be
60 x 2.5ml = 150ml = 0.15cc. To this they add 75cc of canola or olive oil, so the bottle contains
75.15cc of diluted oil.

They have diluted the product by a factor of 1/500. The price is only $10,000 - to save your life.

The price they get for the raw THD ingredient in medical cannabis paid by gullible non-street
wize ppl is far better than the price ppl pay for the same amount of THC to ppl who need to
smoke 2 bongs a day. There is no evidence cannabis oil cures cancer. With the oil my friend
provided, I certainly got a high always with less than 5mg. It seemed so "strong" at times that
it is strictly a stay-at-home substance, you MUST NOT tempt fate by driving a car, or doing
anything in a workshop. So this "therapy" is a "mind zonker", even with this variety of Sativa
which is just a natural wild variety which has not been genetically selected to make the THC
much higher and CBD lower. The Sativa oil had me "good for nothing a hour after taking it."
I found I never ever had feelings of paranoia which are the hallmarks of psychologically
damaging varieties of Indica cannabis which are very high in THC and with hardly any CBD.
should be avoided at all costs, especially by teenagers who can succumb to schizophrenia and
other mental illnesses. Natural Sativa variety is low yield, low THC. And anyone 16 who reads
this will not have the slightest idea about what he is buying, and what I say here is all bullshit.
There are ppl very prone to addiction to many things; 80% of alcohol is purchased by 15% of the
population, 80% of gambling is by 10% of population who are problem gamblers. Studies would
show 80% of recreational use of drugs is by 15% of population, with a good number becoming
addicted. Tobacco was once smoked by 50% of everyone I knew, with probably 25% smoking
twice as much as the other 25%. I once smoked up to 15 cigarettes a day, then said I'd give up,
cold turkey, at age 34, when a GF at that time said I stunk like a chimney.

I did give up, cold turkey, but GF went through usual cycle of Love, fading to co-existance,
then Hate, and off she went to roam and slut around world - again - like the year before, in
between the years of being employed as a primary school teacher where she could not last
longer than a year without getting fed up, and needing to piss off. This was typical of the many
useless dreadful young women I met who could not settle down with anyone. Their efforts to
relate to me were 120% un-respectable. Sex wasn't especially wonderful, just sex. I don't have
an addictive personality, and cannot be addicted to fraudulent lovers, grog, cannabis or anything
else at all. The cannabis oil had me sleeping better, calmer, less worried, less anxious, and being
more able to accept my dismal future. I didn't like being forced off the bicycle with knee pains.
There is nothing nice about declining with age and slowly losing every ability all ppl under 50
take for granted. Aging means everything known and practiced as "human life" becomes very
limited, and denied to ppl when they get older.
12 October 2015.
HT was restarted 1 August 2015 following Psa 3.3 level 10 July. Psa is going down again.
13 July 2015. Since February  2015 little has changed with my health, except that my knees are
beginning to wear out and I cannot ride a bicycle as fast. But I have finally given up any desire to
go fast as I could all the time. My Psa has risen from about 0.4 in Feb to 3.3 at 10th July 2015,
so you can see that there is a very fast doubling time. An acceptable doubling time is say 10 years,
so from 50 it goes from 1.0 to 2.0 at 60, then 4 at 70, and 8 at 80, and maybe you last until 90.
I have a cousin of 70 who has Psa = 0.3. There is a good chance he had a lower testosterone level
than I did. In my case, I have paused from hormone therapy after February and its effect has down
over 3 months and my body has resumed testosterone production. Prostate glands normally generate
a high Psa marker chemical in blood due to testosterone presence, and it does this even when no
cancer is present. Normal range of Psa on pathology results is cited to be from 0.3 to 5.5ug/mL
but this is misleading because what is normal when you have been previously diagnosed with Pca?
I've known men whose Psa was 18 but there was no Pca. Well, not yet. So "Normal" is a silly word,
and 0.7 at 40 and 1.0 at 60 should be the standard.
THE DOUBLING TIME of the Psa level is much more important that the actual level if the level is
"normal." I had no surgery. I was radiated, so the prostate gland is just sitting there like an internal
crouching demon ready to mutate and grow uncontrollably. So whatever Psa chemical is produced,
it could be from cancer cells, or from normal cells. But not one doctor knows the exact state of my
prostate gland or if there is any metastasis. They are only guided by Psa level and its change and the

Having low testosterone < 0.5 ( normal range 8 to 38units ) in most males will reduce Psa to less
than 0.5. The pause in HT is supposed to do my body good to allow some return to having testosterone
and to see if the EBRT in 2010 has worked over time.

This is the second pause in HT I've had, and this time the mental change has been negligible.
My bike speed has reduced and general daily desire for sex and ability to "fix the itch" has not returned.
Well, maybe it is mental, because at 68, there is not a woman alive who'd ever want to be with me
in any way. I have moved to the age where I am naturally repulsive to 99% of sheilas. Most are far
too polite to mention this fact, because politeness is something many of them discover is the key to a
peaceful sexless life without arguments with men, usually over money, and getting their own way.
It is maybe 20 years since anyone actually touched me with care, except for medical professionals
paid over $100,000 pa. Its OK, I just handle it, rather like my mum of 98, who hasn't had a man
touch her since she was 55. I have become polite enough to enjoy women's company without ever
having them feel frightened, angry, or sexually aroused when it is not wanted. 

The Psa rise during 2015 is just like what occurred in early 2012, indicating cancer tumor is alive
and well, and intent on killing me.The graph to 13 July 2015 shows my Psa levels after January 2008.
Psa rode from 4.3 to 6.3. I was diagnosed after biopsy in late Dec 2009 with Gleason 9, aggressive cell
type, young man's type of cancer, prostate gland was 3 times normal volume. Biopsy gave 9 live samples
of 9 taken through rectum wall, a very painful experience with no anesthetic. Open surgery was attempted
April 2010, but abandoned after cutting me open. Cancer had just advanced beyond capsule but had not
spread. HT with Casudex followed by Eligard was commenced, and In Dec 2010 I had 35 RT sessions
when Pg had been shrunk to smaller size due to HT. Eligard was injected once every 3months causing
temporary chemical castration. I am presently (12 October 2015 ) back under effects of re-started HT
with Lucrin injections. Psa has fallen, but probably I will never lower it to the 0.08 back in April 2012.
The effect of ceasing and re-starting HT shows Psa rise and fall similar to between 2012 to 2013.

The latest peaking rise in Psa indicates it is likely the radiation treatment has done little if anything to
prevent prostate cancer from finally killing me even if I remain on HT for however many years Unkel
Nature has allotted to me. The graph shows an underlying rise in Psa at nadirs during HT, and doubling
time from August 2013 to April 2015 = 16 months. From this I could say that Psa in 6.6 years time
might be 32, aged about 75, and I may not be very well. The idea of living to my 90s would depend
on a miracle cure.

There are some miracle cures one hears about, most one hears or reads cannot be taken seriously.
There's a drug called Keytruda which works for melanoma well, its now available on PBS scheme
in Oz. It is said to work on other cancer types including Pca, but then it is new, and trial results are yet
to be finished, so I doubt my oncologist is going to prescribe it for me in 5 weeks when he gets back
from his winter holiday. So knowing what the latest cure or treatment may be is fine, but so often we
hear BS about something that won't help us in time.

Comments on the graph explain the issues for anyone interested including medical professionals.
The graph is 1299 x 693 pixels, and can be expanded if wanted to fill a 15.6" standard laptop screen.

I may be the only man who has published a graph of his Psa levels during treatment for prostate
Last July 10 2015, 3.3.Previous Psa June 2 2015, 1.4.
The 2015 Psa rise is similar to rise in 2012 when I paused for 6 months from HT injections.

I will start again with HT next week with Casodex tablets followed by Lucrin injections to
reduce testosterone to low levels.

I have no cause for optimism, and alternative remedies such as apricot kernels and daily
cannabis oil for last 5 months have done absolutely nothing to change the shape of the curve
for Psa rise. Had my Psa risen to only 1.5 with a then begun to fall, the HT + RT could have been
said to work, but as I see it, its only a matter of time and I would bet that when I re-start HT the
Psa will not drop drop to levels on early 2014,
6 February, 2015.
After an aborted attempt to remove my PG surgically in 2010, I was given HT for 2 years
with a full course of 35 RT in Dec 2010. After 2 years of HT Psa went to a low 0.08.
I stopped HT, but by May 2013 Psa climbed to 8.0 and free Psa indicated Pca was progressing.
I started a second round of HT in early June 2013. By the time the effects of the last injection of
Lucrin ceased by about April 2015, I will have had HT for 22 months.
The Psa nadir during the second round of HT has been 0.2 in April 2014. Psa has risen slightly to
0.36 last month, indicating a doubling time of 1 year. This does not mean the HT has become
ineffective. The PG cells I have are radiation affected and some may be healthy, and these produce
a Psa reading along with any cancer cells, and it is difficult to determine where the source of Psa
really is, because the HT reduces Psa produced by both healthy and cancer cells - while the HT
it remains effective.

During my last visit to my oncologist at CH, he and I decided to quit the HT and watch the
total Psa to see if it rises rapidly and determine free Psa which will indicate if the cancer is
progressing. The oncologist says a pause in HT to allow a return of testosterone production
will be good for me. If total Psa remains below 1.0 then it may be considered the Pca is in
remission but that if it rises above 1.0 - and rapidly - then I will have to return to HT.
I will not have a Lucrin injection at end of this month when the next injection was due.
I might assume my testosterone will begin to rise in about April, and I will have a Psa test
in late May, just before I see my oncologist in early June.

I may need to remain chemically castrated for the rest of my life.

Castration affects men in a variety of ways, and there are many myths. There is no feminizing
apart from some body hair reduction. Drugs like Lucrin or Eligard which suppress testosterone
production do not cause feminizing effect like female estrogen, sometimes given as HT.
So I shall not grow breasts any time soon, or hear rise in pitch of voice etc. I doubt I suffer
depression, and I can keep my weight under control, now 83Kg, with BMI = 24.8. But of course
I am ageing, and although I am same weight as I was when at my fittest when
41, some muscle has been replaced by fat and there's nothing I can do to stop this while on HT
and and under effects of zelodronic acid to prevent bone thinning.

Unfortunately, many men find themselves depressed by aging, and so many cannot ever
control eating, drinking, laziness, and social habits which are all bad. I'm the exception.
Many men blame weight gain and the and drift to other illnesses on medication, and by 60
they become ugly caricatures of what they once were, and they give up on themselves.
Their wives also to the same thing, and its no wonder depression is so common, and
desire for vibrant intimacy has become a thing of the past. It's been 37 years since I was
married, and I'm still looking for a partner and I definitely can function sexually.
So while single, I have nobody to displease by getting old and getting a few health problems.
I find most ppl avoid relationships like the plague after age 45, but I'd welcome one.
The difficulty is in "chemistry", and most women have zero desire for a man after their
menopause, ie, they have "paused from men", and no amount of chemistry, charisma, or
money, care or anything else will make any relationship possible.
There are thousands of females over 30 advertising on dating sites wanting men. Let us
suppose 50% are bogus creations by website "managers", ie, arsole scamsters.
The remaining 50% run a mile if a man does suggest a meeting; they say they want a
man, but most are quite incapable of following through with active pursuit accompanied
by watchful eye to sort out who is or is not a member of the army of men from Arsolia
or Bastadia where all manner of fellows really want to be euthanized tomorrow.

I continue to cycle a constant average of at least 200km per week to keep fit. Very few
fellows overtake me during my rides. There seem to be virtually no men my age still cycling.
I rarely EVER see any woman over 40 on a bike, and 95% of all the females on bikes don't
want anything to do with me; I am an old fart, and they cannot keep up to my speed, despite
them being perhaps 40 years younger, and me having bad knees and lack of speed due to
muscle weakness aided by chemical castration.

I probably have high willpower levels, so after July 2014 I gave up wine and chocolate
and last Xmas gave up having a cookie during each cafe stop while out on the bike.
The ONLY way a man or woman can prevent fatness by eating less calories than
consumed by exercize, ALL THE TIME, until they die. Between 1993 and 2006 I
stopped cycling and doing building work due to knee pain - I have bad knees.
So during 13 years I put on 19Kg, which works out to 2.7 grams per day. This seems like
such a tiny weight gain, and ppl hate to think something so small matters so much, but while
living a sedentary life you just have to reduce calories far more than one might think is sensible.
I have GFE genes - Get Fat Easy. The only way for me to control weight is to weigh myself
EVERY morning using electronic scales able to resolve to nearest 0.1Kg at least.
Then I plot the graph of weight in my daily diary, and if any jump in weight occurs, I fast,
and ride a a bit. Over 2 months you will see variations in weight of +/- 0.1Kg, but you can
SEE the TREND of your weight, and read the average weight for each month.

I allow a Supreme Salad Sandwich every day at my favorite restaurant, the "Siam Twist"
at Hackett in Canberra.

With two large cappuccinos, its under $16, which I can afford. Once a week I have a
Thai dish, Duck Salad or a Laksa with noodles and tofu in winter. Do not believe the
poor reviews about the Siam Twist; it is luxuriously pleasant. I enjoy occasional male
company and newspapers to read, very pleasant staff, and so I enjoy being away from

My knee osteo arthritis is beginning to limit what I do on my bicycle, so as long
as I don't ride more than 300km within a week I am OK. I am not yet begging an
orthopedic surgeon to install titanium knee prosthesis to both knees. It may happen,
but I'd have to wait a year before getting the operation and my cancer progress may
prevent the operation if the docs think I will die sooner rather than later.
Right now, the oncologist does not think my prostate cancer is spreading. I don't need
to ever walk further than 200M ( carpark to movie theatre ). I doubt I'll ever need to
walk further, say, along a beach at sunset with a beloved. If I try walking on sand my
ankle injury from a motorcycle prang at age 19 has me completely disabled.
Women dream of romance and expensive resorts, but they need to be able to be happy
right here and right now, and then all days following the day you meet them. They should
never need to travel anywhere, but I make an exception for coming out with me on a ride.
Like many with leg injuries from a past life, I can cycle OK. A bicycle is just a wheel chair
with one wheel in front of the other.

For last few months I ate an average of 40 apricot kernels a day as alternative therapy
which is claimed to stop cancer spread. I doubt its having the slightest effect but then it
seems a benign dietary supplement, although they do cause some bowel irritation.
I have have a friend with a HERB which I will begin to take soon; I cannot say more
about it, but if it appears to lower Psa after going off HT, I'll let you all know about it.
I now know of 3 local men who had what seemed to be successful surgery giving
extremely low Psa. All have complete ED, and most have enough continence. After a few
years of having Psa < 0.02, Psa rose, so one had additional surgery to remove his bladder
and have an external bag fitted, another had all the RT that I had, and another has Psa of 0.05
after 4 years and he probably will try HT and or RT, and he much fears the Psa rise at age 75.
So even if the cancer is removed surgically, some small amount of prostate gland cells may
be left behind, and they too may eventually become cancerous, if they were not already at
time of surgery.

In my case surgery was not possible despite a fairly low Psa at diagnosis in 2009.
I still have a prostate gland which is probably much  affected by RT, but exact status of cancer
cells is quite unknowable. Therefore it seems pointless to worry too much about a Psa which
is 10 times the level which alarms other men so much after they have had surgery. I expect my
Pca to kill me; the doctors said they just don't have a cure.

Life expectancy for a man in Oz is now 84 years, but that just means very many die well before
they turn 84.....Sure, a few live to 104, but I don't expect to one of them. 
For anything before 6 February 2015 :- Past history.
My interest in road cycling now reduced, and not much to say at Velosophy
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