The bloke is but a bloke, and the bicycle is worth a description below.

Early diagnosis should prevent a death caused by PC. leaving a man to die
of some other condition.
Death, like taxes and dentist bills, cannot be avoided, but early diagnosis and
treatment of PC seeks to death caused by PC thus leaving you prone to some
other cause of death at a later date. It is impossible to prolong life indefinitely.

My symptoms of prostate problems first appeared in about 2007.
I needed to pee much more often. But that was a minor inconvenience. I had
had regular annual PSA tests which were within the normal range for my age
up to about late 2008 when the rate of annual change was some concern for me.
Then in September 2009 my PSA went to 6.7, a rise of 2.0 in just one year.
I was scheduled to consult a specialist urologist in November 2009.
It is possible a man's PSA is high but he has no cancer.
The rate change in PSA levels is what interests doctors and tells them
something could be wrong.

In October 2009 I had ridden my bicycle at some speed over an unavoidable
plank of timber lying on a road and I nearly crashed. I survived this jolt to my
body but then my urine went cloudy. Tests were negative for any infections
but an ultrasound scan showed I had a blocked left ureter and calcium deposits
and a swollen left kidney which could not be ignored. It may have been blocked
for a year. And it could have been caused by cancer. It was something else which
I would be discussing with my urologist in November.
I had a biopsy 4 weeks later in early December 2009. The biopsy procedure
was done without anesthetic, with a special needle firing gun inserted up the rectum.
It felt like having my guts stapled to my spine, and I couldn't withstand more than
9 attempts to get samples. Welcome to prostate troubles! On 24th December 2009
I was told all 9 samples of prostate tissue were positive with an aggressive form
of cancer cells.  I was given a high and horrible "Gleason score" of 9.
This was nothing to be gleeful about though.
An operation to deal with the blocked ureter was booked for February 2010,
and a possible prostatectomy as soon as waiting lists allowed.
During January and February the medical professionals like to have holidays
and go on overseas conferences, and many change their positions at hospitals
so its not a good time to get want to be treated. But during these months I
had CT and MRI scans. All were negative for cancer outside the gland itself.
But such scans do not show small amounts of cancer spread.
On the 7th February 2010 I had the endoscopic uretic inspection and more biopsy
samples taken. I had a temporary uretic stent inserted. No more cancer was found.
This little operation was like having a terribly painful kidney stone inserted,
but after 2 days the pain and bleeding subsided and I recovered after a very
miserable week. Probably the wounds left after taking biospy samples caused
most of the pain. My urologist changed his mind about the planned expensive
robotic prostatectomy and re-booked me for "open surgery" instead.

After February 2010, I found the stent prevented me riding much further
than about 50km without bleeding. This prevented my long Sunday rides with
my friends in the local Pedal Power cycling group. But the doctors did say
I might bleed sometimes from physical exertions because the curled ends of
the stent rub tissues in the kidney and bladder and thus can cause slight bleeding
which would be temporary. They did say I could ride a bike - but not how far
or fast. So instead of averaging 200km a week as I had during all of 2008 and
2009, I was forced to cut back to about 100km a week in 3 rides of up to 50km,
and at a slightly lower speed and on smooth roads.  But I was able to gradually
increase distances.

I found out more about the "uncertainty principle."
The time came for the open surgery on April 21, 2010. Afterward, my surgeon
said he could not remove the prostate gland due to risk of "cancer spill"
which meant that the operation was not likely to stop the spread of cancer,
plus there would be immediate side effects of permanent severe nerve damage.
But although my cancer had began to march beyond the prostate capsule there
was no indication it had spread to lymph nodes or elsewhere.
This agreed with the total body CT bone scan I had had. ( I cannot be 100% sure. )
The doc said my ureter blockage was caused by a change to shape of the bladder
and prostate region. My urology surgeon is the best man in town but he cannot
work miracles. The temporary stent was left in place until it was replaced in
September 2010. But right after surgery in April my surgeon recommended
testosterone suppression drugs and radiotherapy instead of any further surgery.
Towards the end of my 4 days in hospital I had a visit from one of the hospital
radiologists, a handsome young man who spoke with silver tongue while
exuding nothing but confidence. He told me a cure was extremely likely
with the hormone and radiotherapy. X-rays would be beamed in from 4
different directions and will kill the cancer cells but leave healthy cells
unaffected. I absorbed all this wonderful information rather like a man
who is given details of a wonderful method of modifications to a pig to
enable porcine flight. 

I began a course of daily pills to stop my testosterone production, After a
month there were no side effects so in June 2010 I was started on a 3 monthly
series of injections of under the skin of a slow release drug, Eligard, which prevents
my testosterone production. Eligard looks like 2 pack Araldite and is premixed,
then injected using a large diameter needle and can be painful for an hour.
It is in effect a form of temporary medical castration. It is assumed most prostate
cancer cells cannot grow and will die without a supply of testosterone.
I was told that after 6 months on Eligard the cancer tumor size and prostate
swelling would reduce to make the target easier to envelope by radiotherapy.
The oncologist said that full recovery is possible and that damage to nerves,
bowels, bladder, skin and hip joints is all likely to be minimal.
More facts about Eligard may be found at
http://www.eligard.com/about-eligard/default.aspx

Anything is possible. Doctors love the positive outcomes. Negative outcomes
are published daily in the death notices in the local newspaper. Much information
about PC is available online Sloan Kettering and John Hopkins hospitals in the US.
What they say is a bit more sobering than the "hopeful" sound of my radiologist,
and I may never know if the hormone treatment and radiotherapy will work to
prevent my death earlier than I would prefer.

Lady Luck was not much help. Before the PSA zoomed up in 2009 I had
1 in 25 chance of getting PC. Before the biopsy and with PSA = 7, I was told
the chance was 1 in 3. After the biopsy I was told I have an aggressive form
of PC. Strategies like "watchful waiting" would be suicidal for me.
I thought I was lucky not to have to drag a partner with me along this awful journey.
It would have been nice to have had a partner, but I had never found anyone capable
of love and devotion extending beyond a year or two.
So I faced this journey alone - like so many others. I was lucky not to become
depressed very easily. I am not a needy person. If Fate decides I must be
terminated soon despite medical interventions including
diagnosis that was too late for surgery then so be it.

Should I have had a biopsy my PSA reached 4.0? My GP said the risk of
hemorrhage was high and that many biopsies would be negative because
other benign prostate conditions can cause the PSA to rise. But I found I
could ride a bicycle a week after my biopsy later as if nothing had been done.
Benign prostate enlargement with no cancer can be treated easily with drugs.
But if anyone searches for discussion groups about prostate cancer they will
find some men who have had three biopsies after their PSA reached 3.0 and
when cancer was finally found they then arranged for the prostate to be removed.
In Australia it seems the Medical Establishment waits until PSA reaches about 7
before "further examination" is recommended. But my GP was right about the
dangers of biopsies, because during radiotherapy I met a fellow who had terrible
bleeding after a biopsy and he was in hospital for 3 weeks.

The PSA test and digital exam are both unreliable. My lady GP gave me
my first digital exam and she could not feel any hard lumps or abnormalities
although she said my PG was quite swollen. The digital exam was a very
nice experience, and there is nothing to fear and you should not feel embarrassed.

My working life was very disturbed by the medical interventions and the
PC diagnosis. A number of potential customers postponed their orders
indefinitely and my income was much reduced. I was scheduled to be
building a pair of masterpiece quality monobloc amps using a pair of 13EI
in push pull and mainly class A1 but commencement of this project was
indefinitely delayed.  

Meanwhile I had my friends. Without them I would be utterly lost.
They demand nothing and don't fuss over me. I have found that with just
a few good friends you don't need dysfunctional wives or relatives.
But most of my friends have relatives or friends with problems which make
my problems look trivial.
My father died of untreated melanoma at 60, my sister from ovarian cancer at 60,
my other sister had a double mastectomy at 62. My mother of 94 is still alive and
living independently like I do. I'm not sure where the cancer gene came from.
After seeing 3 close relatives touched by cancer I was just waiting for my turn to
come along and sure enough it did. I probably had PC since 2005.
I had witnessed two neighbors of 72 who died from PC and probably they got
their disease at about my age but at the time their condition went undiagnosed
before there was a PSA test and before anyone sought a digital exam like I did,
and before men realized they needed to see a doctor more often for a check up.

The operation in April 2010 left a long scar to my abdomen and I was forced
of my bike for 10 days. Once I began the slow release implants of Eligard in
June 2010 my ability to cycle up hill slowed and I began getting hot flushes.
My weight increased from 83Kg to 86Kg by about August. I found I got fatigued
sooner and there was some increase in osteoarthritis-arthritis aches and pains
which mainly effect me during mornings and it took awhile to begin a day's
activities. I didn't know if the Eligard was working or not.

In about September 2010 I realized my set of scales probably were telling
me the truth about my weight increase. But I bought new scales with electronic
read-out with 0.1Kg resolution. The new scales confirmed my waist
measurement increase. I responded by increasing cycle ride distance and
eating less and by November 2010 at the beginning of radiotherapy was back
down to 83.5Kg.

Just exactly what was radiated was recorded. One quickly gets used to
the machine and the actual therapy is all entirely pain free.

I asked a radiologist why there were only 4 directions for the beams, rather
than as many as possible to reduce radiation levels outside the target area.
She said it has been found there are worse side effects to tissues outside
the target volume when the ingoing rays are distributed evenly around the
360 possible degrees of direction. So it was better to have four "tunnels"
of high exposure to the target, rather than spread it out. When I asked
about IMBT, or Intensity Modulated Beam Therapy, she said Canberra
Hospital does not have it yet, and if it did it would not be better treatment
for PC than exists now, despite claims. But the IMBT is better for cancers
on heads and throats and other sites.
There are presently 3 EBRT X-ray machines at Canberra Hospital and
I was assigned No3, the latest. The slightly older machines don't have
quite the same ability for accurate positioning immediately prior to X-ray shots,
but they are just as effective. I was lucky to be assigned to the latest machine
with the best facilities.

Some thoughts during treatments...

During the 2 minutes of actual treatment it was easy for me to lie perfectly
still, be brave, and think of Australia, and wait for radical penetration.
( But not quite like a young virgin bride on a wedding night :-)

But one does realize one is being changed permanently, and there's no
going back to how you were before therapy, and even with a "cure" you
will be affected. I began to think OK, death is natural but I'd prefer it to be
delayed because I have so much to do before I die, so please,
"Are you listening Mother Nature?"

Mother Nature or Father Nature don't seem to have ears, and nor does
any God, or any other imagined supernatural entity. If there are any Beings
Out There with whom we may communicate or relate to, then I think they
are all deaf as a post. Getting cancer did not make me any more religiously
inclined. My agnosticism is confirmed, ie, there is obviously something beyond
us which is infinitely superior and incomprehensible, and the reasons for the
existence of existence seem utterly beyond the capabilities of our little finite
minds and our presently tiny understanding of the Universe or other universes
beyond ours. So it is not the slightest use to pray to anything or try to send
mind generated emails to god@heaven.universe. However, we are able to
know we were given a random blend of genes from parents and ancestors
and after conception we were abandoned to fate. We probably increase our
life expectancy by having had a good mother during her pregnancy,
good parenting, good food and exercise and living a good moral life and
trying to follow Jesus or some other example of a Good Person.
But some the best of people die "too soon" and the some of worst of people
die far "too late". There is abundant evidence that the serious and largely
incomprehensible lofty beliefs and arguments about gods and theology is
all superstitious nonsense.

We are alone.

I don't believe trying to will oneself to live or expecting a miracle will in any
way extend life when potentially fatal cancer is diagnosed. Active treatments
can only possibly work - nothing is guaranteed. Cancer just grows naturally
and it may/may not kill its host before some other problem.
There is only so much we can do about all this. But I still remain quietly
positive while apprehensive. My church is my bicycle, Nature my God, and
Nature cannot be a mother, father, or gay uncle. Nature is just there.
And while experts argue to their deaths about theology, I'd be wasting my
time to find the Ultimate Truth, whatever it is - I already know, and so
should you, that there is No Ultimate Truth which can be known,
so just get on with trying to be good, OK!

All organized religions have huge amounts of dogma invented by mere men,
and NOT inspired by any deity as they claim, and this pile of accumulated
theological mumbo-jumbo has absolutely no purpose to a person faced
with a serious illness. I may seem very disrespectful if I say the Bible, Koran,
or Torah has nothing to inspire me, but from what I have seen and read of
these I can gain no salvation or comfort and cannot conclude a life of wonder
and happiness awaits me after death. There definitely are beautiful things
written in old religious scriptures, but the scriptures are just old media,
information in books. But where is what I need now? We do better to seek
and to give empathy, sympathy, compassion, human touch, and cheerful
treatment rather than know the scriptures inside out, and this comes as a
result of latent goodness in people regardless of religious or atheist beliefs.
Despite some shortcomings and very little religious zeal among hospital staff,
most at the hospital give out to others exactly what is needed - and they get
paid for it. But in my private life I never got much real attention, and perhaps
this propelled me to disbelieve so much "truth" held dear by others.
I feel no regret about never getting around to having a family of my own
because the experience of others showed there was often more pain than
joy involved. I could be happy with frugality of existence, ie, "minimalism"
but that probably repelled women who only thought of themselves and
consuming. They were the only types I met and they didn't last long.

I find enough natural simple wonderment to get me along.

I don't need a pope, rabbi, or mullah or psychiatrist or complicated drama
queen wife or boss to interfere with the simple workings of my mind.
I do happen to think Jesus Christ was a great model person, and its a
pity so many including popes, rabbis, mullahs et all can't follow Christ
and the ten commandments, or the other commandments the bible authors
forgot to include. We should be able to consider carefully the seven
vices and virtues without practicing any religion. Few contemplate anything,
let alone ask themselves if they are good or not. Many fear the question,
but need to belong, or need to control others, and want to have everything
known and spelt out in simple beliefs which to me cannot ever be the ultimate truth.

Treatment for prostate cancer is rather primitive but it gives a body some
greater chance winning rather than losing. Immune systems are a result
of genes and some people have better immune systems than others but
everyone has only a limited capability of fighting run-away cancer.
Cancer is probably the result of genetic mistakes, or immune system shortcomings,
or some combination of either. Much research goes on about this and
creating remedies carefully tailored to our own DNA profile. Lifestyle choices,
such as smoking, drinking, or sun exposure etc also have effects on DNA.
But when anyone is diagnosed with cancer one realizes the chance of a
breakthrough discovery is very unlikely. Very little is really known, and if
that was not true, there would be a much simpler and surer way to defeat
disease. Much better treatments will be found, but they may take centuries
of research and invention.
I recently heard on a radio program that in the UK there was some
new way of treating PC with ultrasound waves which basically boil tumors.
This is done with transducers while monitoring the process by some sort
of image scanner so that the doctor operating sees what he is doing to a
tumor as he generates steam at the tumor site. The process allows
further surgery or radiation later if needed. A guy who had PC was
interviewed and he was well pleased and was back at work in a week
with few side effects. But I'd found some information online about
ultrasound being used here in Australia some years ago by my urologist
but his website does not have any mention of it and I guess he'd found
ultrasound was not very effective, or else he lacked the scanning abilities
needed for the method to work properly without damaging too much
healthy tissue. Regardless of the latest methods, treatments available to
us are usually established mainstream from ordinary generic doctors
unless we happen to be the President of the US who probably may get
better treatment than I ever could.

I won't be here in future. But my atoms will be. After I am vaporized at
a crematorium they will meet up with other atoms to form a very large
number of different molecules and some will go to form new life which
will progress its life cycle. Some atoms will form rocks, and hang around
for a much longer time. This random re-cycling is the real nature of
reincarnation, IMHO. I do not think that we are recycled after death
to become a better being in a next life according to our deeds during the
last life. I once had a cat with black and white fur and I called her Fuddles.
People could be forgiven she'd been a wayward nun in a former life, then
sent back to Earth to do better. Well, Fuddles often was a little surly,
but nevertheless an excellent and faithful companion who knew exactly
what I was good for and she trained me well. I can forgive Sister Fuddles
if she'd erred in some previous existence. Maybe she'd fucked a bishop
or two! ; oh ye Naughty Pussy!. She died at 18, and for the 12 years
she adopted me as her minder, she was a better companion than many
women I knew at that time. After she died I cremated her in a big wood
fire on a cold June evening and I celebrated with her favorite drink
- a glass of milk. Her ashes help flowers to grow.

Re-incarnation as described by religious people seem to be delusions
and serve no useful purpose for me. Nature re-cycles our atoms but
the next new lot of personal chemistry could be worse. Nature makes
slow progress via trial and error over huge lengths of time. In time,
we may reliably manipulate our genes and apply DNA gene therapies
to prevent cancer and many other diseases including old age,
but don't hold your breath.

I met other people with cancer...

I met others at the hospital who were surprised to see me arrive in
Lycra and funny shoes after a 20km ride. But I would tell them Lance
Armstrong survived his cancer and went on to winning the Tour
De France many times. This is a man with an almost obnoxious will
to win races. In his book about his battles with cancer he says cancer
came close to killing him at 26. But he did have the best of American
doctors to manage his treatments. And Lance thinks rationally.

I had a cheery chat with the nurses on the way in and out.
I am not needy. The hospital staff were wonderful. While some
desperately try to cram in as much time as possible with friends and
relations on a weekend away from RT, I was happy spending half
my time reading newspapers on my own, or having lunch with
one good friend occasionally. I will never forget one radiologist,
an asian girl of about 25, and very beautiful but who appeared
extremely stressed out by her work load just before Christmas.
I bought her a box of the finest chocolates I could find because
she was so skilled, so compassionate, human, and desireable in
every way. 

Initial side effects - eating, swimming, exercise
and vitamins !

During treatment I was urged to drink water with URAL
powders which nurses said makes the urine more alkaline and
less likely to cause the burning pain. But that did not seem to
work for me. I took one good multivitamin pill a day made by
Eagle Pharmaceuticals, 25 Brookhollow Ave, Baulkum Hills,
NSW. They call it professional natural medicine, and its type
name is TRESOS*B PlusSe, ( with selenium ). My mother of 94
has taken it for years. I found the multivitamin plus swimming
700 metres each day helped me feel better after each day of RT.
The lack of movement seemed to promote prostate swelling and
later urine flow impediment. It was worst during sleep and I would
wake up maybe 5 times during a 7 hour sleep between say 12
midnight and 7 AM. The swelling constricts the urethra which takes
some time to open up for a painful urine flow to begin. So my nights
alone were not happy. But there was no pain when one wasn't
trying to pee. After getting out of bed at 7am a 300 a metre swim
in my pool seemed to reduce swelling and get a better flow going.
300 metres takes less than 10 minutes. But I also retained urine,
and didn't empty properly. The swimming promoted me to empty
out properly. With the uretic stent, and RT, my whole waterworks
were not as happy as they should be, but I did not have to use a
catheter and a bag strapped to my leg.
I ate well and weight increased from 83.5Kg to 86Kg during RT.

Knee pain and other skeletal pains increased during RT but have now reduced.
Probably some pain was caused by my subconscious anxiety.

The cycle paths in Canberra are wonderful. I find it very therapeutic to be
out in nature, alert and active like a wild animal, free, and alive.
The lack of testosterone does not seem to have caused much change to
my general mental outlook. Without testosterone I still get cranky with some
car drivers if they cut me off in traffic. I am getting  through the 2011 summer
and autumn with much enjoyment on a bicycle, again, even without much
company. I am lucky to have a few Internet friends to whom I may talk of things
of joint interest.

Friendships and dating....

Last November 2010 a close friend left town to live at the south coast, some
300km away. His lung health failed during winter and he could not enjoy our
rides together. It becomes more difficult to make new friends we get older.

Canberra has a history of being socially cold. Many have stayed temporarily
before moving on and many I have known have moved away.
This nation's Capitol has always had a mainly government paid workforce who
don't have a culture of free enterprise. For some reason, people here tend to
like to exist like personal islands and are frightened to relate in any manner
which is outside a shared activity. But I know this is the case in many cities
where modern life offers mostly alienation, and little can be done about it.
Modern existence is a kind of straight jacket where no real closeness is permitted,
and if you cease a shared group activity, nobody ever phones or emails.
Many people relate primarily through shared work activities or perhaps in
team sports, but the latter is minimal judging by average BMI measurements.
Most are busy with work and family life. I much fancied one lady of 46 in
my cycling group and said she was a really stressy person in a manner which
seemed to mean she really didn't want anything with anyone which seems
strange to me. Anyway, if she did, I was definitely way too old, she'd never
adapt, and I'd not cope, and yet she had lingering health bothers with iron
absorption and was a "limited person" like most of us. Nevertheless, when
my bunch were together as a riding group we all loved seeing her. Not many
females will ride in bunches which are always 95% men. And she was so
determined to make it through her 90km on a Sunday and it mattered not
she was a slow rider. And of course for more acceptance I should be rich,
healthy, and under 47. As we age we tend to disappear from other people's
view well before we die alone someplace.
There are a few cycling groups for women only in the ACT. One always
knows when a bunch of ladies is riding somewhere because they have to
chatter away about nothing much for every kilometre, but I quite like
silence except for wind noise which spoils what most people might say.

Dating web sites have been useless for me. I tried for many years.
I found a number of women would indicate anonymously they liked my
online profile, and would welcome any email but they could not reply to
me after I'd emailed my phone number, and is this not plain rude and dysfunctional?
I'd looked at hundreds of profiles, short listed 1/3 of them, sent out anonymous
free messages to all indicating I'd like a positive response to them.
I got 20 anonymous emails in return with 7 indicating they'd seen my profile
and would welcome an email. I emailed all 7 for $7 each, and there was no
response from any one of them at all. 

The sexual urge in young people is so strong it causes people to ignore
the unknown dangers of relationships. But when women turn 40 they
seem to disappear, especially after having children. There are a tiny
number of people who admit to being over 55 and who are online and
looking for a partner. Women routinely lie about their age, and I found
the same women had profiles listed in both age groups 35 to 48 and over 48.
So you cannot know a ladies age without asking to see her driver's license,
and maybe she's a lot older than she says she is. If a woman lies about her
age it would come as no surprise she lies about other things.
Of course Internet dating profiles should be assumed to be largely nonsense.
The chance of meeting someone compatible and who lives within a 10km
radius and among the general population of 50,000 other people in the
same area is quite remote. Thus the Internet looks like a very reliable place
to be bitterly disappointed. So a man is left to age while feeling the desire
and having the ability of a young man, but there is "nowhere to post the letter".
Many men and women seek much younger partners but those very younger
partners loathe older partners and so it goes, a farce. Often both men and
women are made to feel like monsters, freaks, horrible yukky creatures
because we happen to be over 50, and want to touch and be touched by
another human being. Men don't really want to pay $250 per hour to a
young lady sex worker who everyone else has ridden, and we want our
efforts to please and be valued, not ridiculed. Women also thrive on
being valued. I am a bit choosy because who would want to be with
anyone who can't relate to anyone else? I've always avoided women less
intelligent than myself or with worse personal habits or who are very unfit,
so there are very few to choose from and they mostly like "better" men
than I am, ie, who have greater wealth. I found being with someone
where there is no mental rapor or trust is boring and leads to nihilism and "ED".
I look at gatherings of older women my age in cafes and rarely anyone sets
my heart racing and none look me in the eye. None of them ride a bicycle!
They all look expensive to run. Many of them would think discussions
on sex, politics and religion are all downright impolite where I may think these
things are the only things worth any discussion at dinner, along with music
art and culture, and everything else involving activity and uncertainties.

Do you need Betina?

Over the next few years I expect the RT to cause the slow breakdown of
nerves controlling continence and erections, and whatever Betina Arndt
said recently at the National Press Club about what men want in bed and
about prostate cancer aftermaths will inevitably become totally irrelevant.
Betina is not any hero of mine, but she is a bright lady, and is now
promoting male well-being, ie, on our side, and worth a read if you are not
by now completely sexually repressed as I know so many men and women
become.  http://www.bettinaarndt.com.au/aboutbettina.php
Much research is going on around the world to invent a drug to re-boot
womens' missing sexual desires. I think it is natural for sexual desire to collapse
between couples. This natural occurrence is "medicalised" and a "solution"
to the "illness" must be found, like a pink Viagra pill. But such a pill for
females would need to affect their minds, and trying to fiddle with a
woman's mentals and sexual attitudes is probably beyond any researchers'
abilities. Lets face it, many people just stop wanting to bonk their same
old partner who may have turned into an ugly fat dull monstrosity.
Many if not most females pause from men permanently before or after
their menopause. Bettina is trying to say people can and should continue
sex after people leave their youthful years behind, but then she says all this
stuff to get rich from people buying her books. I say Nature has other ideas,
and that orgasm free cuddles does not satisfy more than a very few people
and one must find other reasons to stay married and sleep in a bed with
another snoring human, and most people can't make it. Long happy marriages
should just happen naturally, but the divorce statistics tell a different story.

I could have written a book titled 'Fifty Reasons Why I Didn't Get Laid Last Night'.
But now I am a "prostate cancer person", there are 50 more reasons to bore readers
so I won't write any damn book. I will surprised if anyone ever touches me again who
is not a doctor, dentist or a nurse. This is not unusual in our society of coldness.
My old mum of 94 has spent the last 39 years without ever wanting to remarry
after my father died of cancer. To not want to marry confounds me. My older sister
is dead against marriage. This grand idea ain't so popular, but it can be so good for
people.

I recently met another customer who must be 75 and he had all my treatment
10 years ago and he's OK.

Recovery after radiotherapy...

Sometimes I am so fatigued I need to have a good sleep after a ride,
but this is occurring less. There do seem to be days when I will feel dead
and some days I am full to the brim with energy just like being 21.
Exactly what is going on inside my body with regard to all my hormone
levels is not able to be fully known. What is known is that my urge to
ride a bike has not declined.

Bladder and Bowel function is much better.

((((( And for those who are not offended by comments about sex, I can say
that despite 35 radio therapy sessions, there has been no ED and orgasms are
just as good as they were at 25 and can easily achieved without Viagra
but I could never again make a female pregnant. The joys of True Lurve
could thus be undertaken, but without any fear of piles bills in 9 month's time.
The virtual complete lack of testosterone has not wrecked my positive opinion
of females nor my desire for their company but at 63 I find there are no
females around who could be engaged for anything at all, no friendships,
no sex, nothing. ))))) 

The autumn weather is the ideal time for cycling.

My lower spine aches in mornings but pain fades after an hour or three.
I have unstable spinal discs which want to move around and its taking longer
every second day to align my discs. I've roped a length of 25mm dia broom handle
to a beam across my lounge-room and at a height of about 2.7 metres so I can
reach up and hang from the beam with feet off the floor. Its done about an hour
after having a breakfast bowl of oats. I will hear and feel a click or two as things
 move around and into a place which allows pain free work and standing or
cycling for the rest of the day. I am probably sensitive to lifting weights,
but I can't escape the need to lift heavy amplifiers. Some recent jobs involved
an ARC VT200 which maybe 60Kg. I am trying to remember and find time
for some yoga and my stretching exercises to alleviate the spine problem.
I will be having another bone density scan in a few weeks to see what changes
have occurred after being on the Eligard. My good doctor at Canberra Hospital says
that the Eligard which is suppressing testosterone may be causing excessive bone
mass loss. My knees seem to get sore more easily when I attempt any distance
walking. But I can say cycling seems to lessen knee and back pains.
One thing is for sure, I am not getting any younger and cannot expect to live
without aches and pains slowly limiting what I may want to achieve.

My doctor was well pleased with how I handled the radiotherapy, and
pleased by my progress afterward and with all my cycling and swimming
activities.  

I still have a temporary uretic stent which causes temporary internal
bleeding if I cycle further than about 66km. I did 81km yesterday and
slept for 4 hours afterward but I didn't bleed much. I will have a minor
operation in mid April 2011 to remove the temporary stent and insert a
permanent short stent if needed. I found an Internet chat site where many
people discuss their mainly negative experiences with uretic stents.
I would be one who has been very lucky because the stents have been
painless, and I can still ride a bicycle and do house work and remain self
 sufficient. I think the doctors at Canberra Hospital did well to fit just the
right length of stent which was neither too long or too short, as either
would cause problems.

I must stay busy...

I have a list of unpaid work at gardening, house plumbing and
house re-furbishing. I have a pile of unfinished projects to complete.
There is never nothing to do, but I cannot do as much as I did at 30.

In 2006 I spent many months full time re-building my website for the fourth time.
There has been little reason to change my work life or change my ideas about
hi-fi since then.

I may have developed a few ideas about audio gear manufacture and sales............
I refuse to manufacture lowest common denominator quality gear and I cannot
compete on price with any of it. I cannot tell lies during any marketing
exercises to persuade people to buy it. Little do people realize that 50%
of what they pay is the hi-fi shop mark up, and 25% is other costs and taxes.
When did a hi-fi shop or importer or magazine advetisement ever add anything
good to the build quality or sound quality? The factory cost of production of
audio gear in most hi-fi shops is now the lowest cost component of the retail price.
Most of what is bought in most hi-fi shops is watered down engineering.
Most of the price you pay in any shop is used to keep the whole edifice of
parasitic sales costs and sales profits and advertising from collapse.
There is a huge and obscene rise in the price of most things between the people
who sweated to make it and the price you pay. Think of coffee beans and chocolate.
Electronics is little different. Online sales of goods is now having some effects
on the prices you pay but nothing much is changing working conditions or
wages in Asia.

In order to survive myself I have to focus on making something which cannot be
found elsewhere and I have to sell it directly without middlemen such as the
local hi-fi stores with whom I have to compete. The hi-fi shops sell mainly mass
produced product imported from Asia ( mainly China ) where the labor costs
are a small fraction the Australian wages. Average annual Oz wages may have
reached $52,000 p.a. before tax, or $1,000 a week. But average wages in
China may be only $40 per week, and we would never work with their conditions.
Often the factory workers work for less than average wages, and in atrocious conditions. 

In an ideal world...

Every Chinese or Indian worker should be paid the same as anyone in Australia,
US, or Europe. In western developed nations like Australia everyone expects
equal wages for equal work and a fair society with safety nets. But they buy
Chinese goods which are made where wages and conditions are woeful.
So there is a huge amount of hypocrisy going on between working people in
western nations and China. In an ideal world, the workers of Oz would not buy
Chinese made boots unless the Chinese boot makers had equal pay for equal
work as Oz workers. Experiments to change this kind of unfair situation have
been tried, starting in about 1918 with the Russian Revolution, but human
nature chacteristics and Stalin doomed that socialist-communist revolution.
Most other have also failed including the revolution in China with chairman Mao.
The revolutions didn't lead to equality of people in different nations. Real human
equality has proceeded to evolve only very slowly and as the principles of
Capitalism allow, ie, if vested interests with de munny can make de profit.
China is ruled by socialists with Chinese Capitalistic Experiment. Its a new
experiment which I hope does not transform into Nationalism as occurred in
Germany in the 1930s. 

It should not matter where someone sets up a factory to make something;
the costs and profits should be about the same if equal equal opportunity,
freedoms and law and order exists. But the bosses in the western developed
nations seem only ever try to force labor costs lower no matter where the l
abor is employed. They like to pay themselves much more and workers much
less! They hate to see any rise in wage costs anywhere including nations
such as China or India. When you buy a product made in China or India,
you are supporting this extreme gross social injustice. The Chinese and
Indians could certainly use the bigger pay packet so they can afford to
implement anti-greenhouse measures and clean up their environments.
But of course before any wage increase gets to the workers the money gets
siphoned off to expand business or to fill foreign bank accounts.
The technology exists now for changing from coal and oil to sustainable
solar, wind, geothermal, wave, biomass fuels and we should aim for
all people everywhere to contribute 10% of their earnings for the next
10 years to make the change over. But don't expect life in the poorest
countries to become equal to life in the richest any time soon. There is
a huge hurdle in the way - the inertia of human nature and GREED.
I don't think enough people will ever agree to do enough towards making
the world ideal. When the weather gets much hotter many people will
react by merely buying a bigger air conditioner made in China for a cheapest
price. They won't go out and plant a thousand trees. They like to plant a
thousand buildings, for which thousands of trees must be cut down.

So by the time a Chinese worker enjoys the same standard of living as
the present Oz person, maybe all the glaciers will have melted and sea levels
will have begun to rise rather fast to drown all coastal cities, so cities will have
to be moved inland. I think mankind and womenkind are dithering and will do
too little, too late. People want to first get rich, second clean up mess,
but it doesn't ever happen, and instead there are more problems caused
by not fixing problems, and billions more people.

The Greenhouse Effect....

I do have to come to terms with making class A vacuum tube amps.
OK, but the world as a whole is turning to using extremely efficient
"digital amplifiers" which are 96% efficient at all output powers.
The change to the new amps wilI make all old class AB solid state amps
into dinosaurs which willbe re-cycled into something else, and the raw
materials needed for two 50 Watt channels of 2000 can make 20 channels
of 50 Watt each with pulse width modulation and digital techniques.
It means that as population increases to a probable maximum of 15
billion in say 50 years, the amplifier power needed world wide will
not change very much.

Tube operated gear might equal 0.01% of present worldwide amplifier
power, and despite appalling efficiency of tubes the contribution to
greenhouse CO2 from tube use is tiny, and I think the world can afford
the luxury. Similarly, there is no reason why 0.01% of the world's rail
locomotives should not be steam driven. *Some* retro technology is
culturally enriching to our lives. I also didn't get around to having any
children. I make perhaps 1 decent amplifier system each year, not thousands
of them. Your children won't have to share the Earth with mine and will
thus be better off. And if you earn 50 grand a year and I earn 10 grand,
then who is using more resources and sending more CO2 skywards,
you or me?

Meanwhile, gigantic data centers hungry for power are springing up like
mushrooms for storing digital information, and I guess that in 10 years
and despite numerous governments signing the Kyoto agreements and
with the introduction of stern carbon trading taxes and trading schemes,
CO2 emissions will rise atrociously. Along with this pollution will be
rising problems everywhere with water shortages, de-forestation, food
shortages, species extinctions, just to name a few of the problems facing
all of us.
So even if I gave up all my activities and did nothing except plant trees
and I lived on $1,000 a year, the rest of the world will continue to try
to live unsustainably. So don't blame me without blaming yourself.

If we were to go back to our grandparents' time and we were to think about
their situation as we do our own, we would have had reason then to want
change in a big way to prevent problems occuring in future. But granpa and
granma couldn't keep their hands off each other and they had huge big f
amilies and they really didn't care about the future. After WW1, some effort
was made to prevent trouble by international agreements to prevent all those
offspring dying. There were all sorts of revolutions and indepenance movements
and many wars. How effective were these co-operative efforts and intentions
to prevent future problems of endless struggle and people dying inpools of blood?
Luckily, as women become educated they learn to ask the inconvenient questions
I would ask and because there is a Pill and because house prices have risen so
high and they have become so choosy while putting on the agony and style
that they can't/won't bother to breed very much. There are better things to
do. As people get more they want more but they end up with "Stuff" and tend
not to breed so often. Just as well family sizes have become smaller since 1900.
There would be little room now if every woman had brought 8 children to the
world since 1900. So let's give women a chance. Even with lower birthrates
we look set to overpopulate the world.

I just don't know when Mother Nature will frown on our activities and deliver
us some really horrible weather and disease events which will force many of
us to realize we cannot all live like kings&queens and that unless we change
we will have pain. But many will refuse to take any notice because they'll find
a way of putting the pain onto someone else, as they always have.
If the weather gets so hot its unbearable, then what is the solution? Buy a
bigger air conditioner. Its what peoplel do. It only makes things worse of course,
but such is human nature. When the scramble to survive starts in earnest the
fighting will start. Millions are now becoming more restless and impatient about
betterment in their lives and demand for anything and everything is set to soar.
Our species is use to fighting to survive - or to promote a bullshit idea;
just read the history of all the past wars, so future writers of history will have
some new big fat wars to write about, if they are not all poisoned by radioactive
fallout from nuclear weapons....

Cycling and lifestyle...

In 2006 and after not riding a bike or doing much manual work for about 12
years my weight had gone from 82Kg to 102Kg and I didn't like myself.
I dusted off the old bikes and began to pedal off the fat. Because I was heavy
I broke quite a few spokes in the old wheels. One day a pair of front forks broke
 in traffic and I crashed to the road and people and parts scattered. I survived
nearly being run over by a following bus because I was in the cycle lane
alongside the traffic lanes which were installed after 2004 in Canberra.
Roads became much safer with cycle lanes. Roving speed cameras slowed
down traffic so cycling became safer than it had been in the 1980s.
I realized that some parts of the bikes I had bought in the 1980s had bad metal
fatigue. I re-built wheels and replaced head stocks on handlebars and replaced
lever gears with Shimano Sora indexed gears. I've had very few mechanical
troubles since early 2008.