
Hi Everyone,
The Internet allows me to share all my
knowledge freely and to meet a few people who are capable
of understanding vacuum tube amplifiers and basic ideas about
generating good hi-fi in their homes.
A tiny percentage of the visitors to my website have gone ahead
to commission me to build amplifiers which are unique in their design
and which are unavailable anywhere else.
Some visitors to my site have constructed superb audio systems of their
own design. They have
become my friends with regular emails. They enjoy being able to discuss
matters with someone else
who will understand the technical issues involved.
Some visitors are curious about the man behind the website.........
2010 update..
Being 63 is no joke; "The older you
get the better you was !!!!"
I'll start with my recent history but older background info is below
with edited parts of what is becoming ancient history with little
relevance to the present.
Some may have seen a recent notice
on my index page recently concerning my
health which has affected my job of audio tech in my small
business of
providing repairs and creating new amplifiers for discerning customers.
I would guess that most visitors to my website are men over 40 who
like music and the gear used to convey music to the ears from
recordings.
There are things about health they
could know which may
assist them living longer. My own personal recent experience
with
ill-health may teach others to avoid the same problem and to be mindful
of the realities.
December 2009 I was diagnosed with
prostate cancer. Men of 62
have about a 1 in 25 chance of getting PC.
About 3 years ago I began having symptoms that something was
changing below the waistline . I needed to pee much more often. But
that in itself is a minor inconvenience. I had had regular annual PSA
tests which were within the normal range for my age up to about late
2008 when the rate of annual change was some concern for me. Then
in September 2009 my PSA went to 6.7, a rise of 2.0 in just one year.
In October 2009 I was found to have a blocked left ureter which
was threatening the survival of a kidney. So after a 6 week wait to see
a urologist I had a biopsy 4 weeks later in December. The biopsy
procedure was very painful with no
unaesthetic. On 24th December
2009 I was
told all 9 samples of prostate tissue were positive with an
aggressive form of cancer cells. I was given a Gleason score of
9. This was
nothing to be gleeful about though. An operation to inspect the ureter
was booked for February, and a possible prostatectomy as soon as
waiting lists allowed. During January and February the medical
professionals like to
have holidays and go on overseas conferences. But during these months I
had
lots of CT and MRI scans. All were negative for prostate cancer, but
such scans do not show small amounts of cancer spread. On the
7th February 2010 I had the
endoscopic uretic inspection and
more biopsy samples taken. I had a temporary uretic stent inserted.
No more cancer was found. This little operation was like having a
terribly
painful kidney stone
inserted, but after 2 days the pain subsided and I recovered after a
miserable week. But my
urologist changed his mind about the planned expensive robotic
prostatectomy and re-booked me for "open surgery" instead.
I found out more about the
"uncertainty principle."
The time came for the open surgery on 21st April. Afterwards my surgeon
said he
could not remove the prostate gland due to risk of "cancer spill" which
meant that the operation was likely to encourage the spread of
cancer, and perhaps prevent its spread, plus the side effects of nerve
damage would be too
severe. He said my ureter blockage was caused by a change to shape
of the bladder and prostate region. My surgeon is the best man in town
but he cannot work miracles.The temporary stent was left in
place.
My surgeon recommended hormone and radiotherapy instead
of any further surgery. Towards the end of my 4 days in hospital I had
a
visit from the hospital oncologist who spoke with silver tongue while
exuding nothing but confidence. He told me a
cure was extremely likely with the hormone and radiotherapy. X-rays are
beamed in from 4 different directions and will kill the
cancer cells but leave healthy cells unaffected. I absorbed all this
wonderful information rather like a man who is given details of a
wonderful method of modifications to a pig to enable porcine flight.
I am now having monthly injections
of a slow release drug which is supposed to prevent my testosterone
production. It is in effect a form of medical castration. It is assumed
most prostate cancer cells cannot grow and
will die without a supply of testosterone. Once most existing cancer
cells have been reduced by hormone blocking drugs after six months I
face
radiotherapy beginning in November for many weeks on a daily basis so
that radiation accumulation in the prostate region is about 70 Grays.
The oncologist said that full recovery is possible and that damage to
nerves, bowels, bladder, skin and hip joints is all likely to be
minimal.
Anything is possible. Doctors
love the positive outcomes. Negative
outcomes are published daily in the death notices in the local
newspaper.
Much information about PC is available online Sloan Kettering and John
Hopkins hospitals in the US. What they say is a bit more sobering than
the "hopefull" sound of the local oncologist. Of
15,000 men diagnosed with PC each year in Oz about a third will die
from it.
I don't think Lady Luck is on my
side. Before the PSA zoomed up last year I had 1 in 25 chance of
getting
PC. Before the biopsy with PSA =7, I was told the chance was 1 in 3.
After the
biospy I was told I have an aggressive form of PC. Strategies like
"watchful
waiting"
would be suicidal from my point of view. I am
probably lucky not to have to drag a partner with me along this awful
journey. It would have been nice to have a partner, but so far I never
found any whose bell curve of love and devotion extended beyond a year
or two. When brief partnering ever did occur in my life, it reminded me
that despite the silly
expense and heartaches I did not have a better life than remaining
single. So I face this
journey alone like so many others. Luckily I don't
get depressed very easily. I am not a needy person. If Fate decides
I must expire soon despite state of the art medical interventions
including diagnosis that was too
late for surgery then so be it.
I mentioned to my GP that I could
have had
a biopsy when my PSA reached 4.0, and so could all men. But she
said the risk of heamorage was too high and that many biopsies would be
negative because other benign prostate conditions can cause the PSA to
rise. But after my biopsy I went riding my bicycle a
week
later as if nothing had been done. Benign prostate enlargement with no
cancer can be treated easily with drugs. But if anyone searches for
discussion groups about prostate cancer they will find some men who
have had three biopsies after their PSA reached 3.0 and when cancer was
finally found they then arranged for the prostate to be removed. In
Australia it seems the Medical Establishment waits until PSA reaches 7
before "further examination" is recommended. The PSA test is very unreliable and
so to is the digital examination. In my case the DE revealed no odd
lumps, although the prostate gland itself was twice normal size.
My working life has been very disturbed by the medical interventions. A number of potential customers have postponed their orders. I have not been able to do much repair and or re-engineering work. I was scheduled to be building a pair of masterpiece quality monobloc amps using a pair of 13EI in push pull and mainly class A1 but commencement of this project is delayed.
Meanwhile I have my friends.
Without them I would be utterly lost.
They are un-demanding, and don't fuss over me too much. I have found
that with just a few good friends you don't need dysfunctional wives or
relatives. But most of my friends have relatives or friends with tales
of woe which make my problems look trivial.
My father died of melanoma at 60, my sister from ovarian cancer at 60,
my other sister had a double mastectomy at 62. My mother of 93 is
still alive and living independently like I do. I figure the cancer
gene came from my father's mother. After I have seen 3 relatives
touched by cancer I was just waiting for my turn to come along and sure
enough it did. I
have probably had PC for the last 5 years. I had witnessed two
neighbours of 72 who died from PC and probably they got their disease
at about my age but at the time their condition went undiagnosed until
it had spread to their bones and other organs.
I have my bicycle. After the
stent went in during February I
found that I could only ride about 50km. If I cycled further I would
find my pee was
full of blood. But the doctors did say I might bleed sometimes from
physical exertions because the curled ends of the stent rub issues in
the
kidney and bladder and thus can cause slight bleeding. They did say I
could
ride a bike; they just did not say how far
or fast. So instead of averaging 200km a week as I have during all of
2008 and 2009, I was forced to cut back to about 100km a week in 3
rides of up to 50km, and at a slightly lower speed, maybe 25kph instead
of 27kph. I have not been able to join in with my sunday rides
with the Canberra Pedal
Power "Sunday Wanderers" group because even their shortest distance
ridden
by the slowest riders is likely to cause bleeding. The highlight of the
sunday ride was the cafe stop about half way where there was a chance
to be social.
My ability to cycle up hill has
slowed since I began anti-testosterone treatment. Nevertheless,
hardly anyone else passes me by during my shorter rides I am doing
now. My weight has remained steady at 83Kg for the last 3 years. If you
read the information put out by the John Hopkins Hospital or the Sloan
Kettering Hospital you will find some dire sounding descriptions about
life for men without testosterone. So far I am not having hot flushes,
not
growing breasts, not gaining weight, and not feeling plain horrible and
so far can still fully enjoy a hard-on. I do find I get fatigued sooner
and some
increase in osteo-arthritis aches and pains which mainly effect me
during mornings and it takes awhile to begin a day's activities. I
could say my lack of
side effects
mean that I may have so damn much testosterone that the injectable slow
release drugs to suppress it are hardly doing anything. But I don't yet
know if side effects will increase over the next 6 months of treatment
or if the PC is growing bigger and maybe
spreading.
The weather in May is beautiful for
cycling. I know a fine
kiosk where I can get a decent coffee and a sandwich. The girl who who
runs the kiosk has a smile which just makes me want to marry her
tomorrow ( amoung other things ) but alas she is half my age and is
well and truly spoken for. I could also marry my dentist or my GP also
but these fine compassionate women are only 20 years too young,
and are married :-)
I must be my own servant, but I don't mind because I am my own boss. I
probably do most things for myself better than most other people might
do for me, and without the fussings and dramas of domestic compromises.
Until 2010 I could say.......
"I am just working
to make hi-fi a better experience for people I meet on their journey
through life."
Now I will try to continue, but not with so many late nights.
1995 to 2010.....
I am still here to review how I survived the
experience of changing trades.
The pay rate for audio work has always been low. While people are happy
paying
someone $100 per hour replacing an old kitchen or to have a mechanic
apprentice change the oil in their car they don't
like paying $100 an hour to fix an old radio which might take 10 hours
so it will be usable for the next 50 years after surviving
the last 60 years. Often I have spent 30 hours on some ancient radio.
I have become very frugal in my lifestyle and very focused on what I am doing. I can only smile at how I spent so much on so little during times in my youth. I found I enjoyed the intellectual challenge with electronics with happy outcomes for my customers.
If nobody is pleased by what you do, your life has little value. If
people don't pay well, enforcent at gun point still remains
inexcusable. Even if I don't earn much I must always impose myself
gracefully on others. It would be nice if customers did the same and
gave me an hourly rate equal to their wages but few ever extend the
courtesy.
In 2006 I spent many months full time re-building my website for the
fourth time. There has been little reason to change much since then.
Each year I
have made one really good system for someone and
have re-engineered quite a number of others. Many of my customers are
audiophiles who acquire a collection of amplifiers
even after they have bought something from me but few have sold
anything I made. And nothing I have ever made has had a failed
transformer or other major trouble.
What about a philosophy?
One might ask if a philosophy is necessary. We are finite
beings. The universe is infinite. So, we cannot fit the infinite
knowledge of the universe into
our finite brains.
We can only
share what we know and don't know. Many don't like to share
anything because sharing involves questioning everything and that leads
to anxiety because answers just don't always arrive. There is enough to
stop anyone who questions from ever getting bored.
We are all only temporary beings. I think I may leave some slight
legacy even if only
temporary. I worry not that others leave a greater legacy, because no
matter who you are there are those who are better. I have a
simple plan for the future. Philosophy including logic are not
things which always lead us always to the
truth because either can be plain wrong and nonsensical. I can see
where religion has a place in a world derived from science and
engineering. Religion is based on many nonsensical beliefs, but
at least we get The Ten Commandments, the Seven Vitues, and Seven Vices
from thinking religiously and this makes life far better than having no
idea about ethical living. Truth is
expected
from politicians, the military, bosses, and many people around us but
their activities and motives conceals the truth or leads to
propagation of bullshit. I only deal with simple circuitry and have no
need
to tell lies about it.
I could
always say I could be proven wrong, and I don't mind anyone trying
to prove I am wrong, but they better be very convincing with their
attempts.
I cannot mention every idea to
make music at home enjoyable. But my website allows you to
realize some good ideas if you read the website
keenly.
I try to do it
right and no other way. As we learn, many ideas about
hi-fi present themselves in our minds, and
one should allow for the mind to consider all of them and make an
informed choice to enjoy the
best hi-fi experience.
Incremental sound quality improvements are
possible after comparing some new equipment or technique with
something from the past. If something new sounds better, then it
should be adopted after careful comparisons. I have
witnessed the consensus among gatherings of audiophiles where a little
triode amp renders music made by angels compared to the lifeless sound
heard
from expensive high powered solid state amps. But many
will not behave rationally with audio gear; they will think the new
speakers sound better than the last pair they just sold although and
they have never compared the speakers side by side over a month. I know
some who refuse to do any comparisons and avoid AB tests like the
plague
because they like to feel they are right, they hate logical thinking,
and don't like being challenged by evidence to suggest their hearing
is not as perceptive as they thought.
Adopting some cheaper or lazier technique for marketing reasons has
never had any meaning for me. I don't have a reason to
employ an accountant. Many of my creations are heavy because the
required amount of iron in transformers to get good bass has not been
reduced by a bean counter.
If you want to hear the natural sound of drums, you need to move air
with large speaker
cone diameters. Accountants and wives don't like them.
I refuse to manufacture lowest common
denominator quality gear. I cannot tell lies during
any marketing
exercises to persuade people to buy it. Little do people
realize that 50% of what
they pay is the hi-fi shop mark up, and 25% is other costs and taxes.
When did a hi-fi shop ever add anything good to the sound quality? The
ex factory cost of making any audio gear to be purchased in most hi-fi
shops is the lowest cost component of the retail price. What is bought
in most hi-fi shops is watered down engineering. Most of the price you
pay for anything in the shops is to keep the whole ediface of parasitic
sales and advertising from collapse. There is a huge and obscene rise
in the price of most things between the people who sweated to make it
and the price you pay. Think of coffee beans and chocolate. Electronics
is little different.
In order to survive myself I have to focus on making something which
cannot be found elsewhere and I have to sell it directly without
middlemen such as the local hi-fi stores with whom I have to compete.
The hi-fi shops sell mainly mass produced product
imported from Asia ( Mainly China ) where the labour costs are
a small fraction the
Australian wages. I have seen reports where average annual Oz wages
have
reached AUD $66,000
before tax, or $1,269 a week. It can be higher depending on skills, or
if you have a nice position at one of Australia's mines where the iron
ore or coal is being gathered to send to China. But wages in a
Chinese factory may be only $40 per week, and we would never work with
their work conditions.
In an ideal world, every Chinese or
Indian worker would be paid the
same as anyone in Australia, US, or Europe. In western developed
nations like Australia everyone expects equal wages for equal work and
a fair society with safety nets. It should not matter
where
someone sets up a factory to make something; the costs and profits
should be the
same. But the bosses in the western developed nations would only ever
try
to force labour costs lower no matter where the labour is employed.
They like to pay themselves
much more and more and more! They hate to see any rise in wage costs
anywhere including nations such as China or India. When you buy a
product made in China or India, you are supporting this extreme gross
social injustice. The Chinese and Indians could certainly use the
bigger pay packet
so they can afford to implement anti-greenhouse measures and clean up
their environments, but of course before any wage increase gets to the
workers the money gets siphoned off to expand business or to fill
foreign bank accounts. The technology exists now for changing from coal
and oil to sustainable solar, wind, geothermal, wave, biomass fuels and
we should aim for all people everywhere to contribute 10% of their
earnings
for the next 10 years to make the change over. But don't expect life in
the poorest countries to become equal to life in the richest any time
soon. There is a huge hurdle in the way - human nature and GREED. I
don't think enough people will ever agree to do enough towards making
the world ideal. When
the weather gets much hotter many people will react by merely buying a
bigger air conditioner. They don't go out and plant a thousand
trees. They like to plant a thousand buildings, for which thousands of
trees must be cut down.
With all this talk about the
Greenhouse Effect, I do have to
come to terms with making class A vacuum tube amps. OK, but the world
as a whole is turning to using extremely efficient "digital amplifiers"
which are 96% efficient at all output powers. If tube operated gear
equals 0.01% of worldwide amplifier power
then I think the world can afford the luxury like there is no reason
why 0.01% of the
world's rail locomotives should not be steam driven. *Some* retro
technology is enriching to our lives. I also didn't get around to
having any
children. So your children won't have to share the Earth with mine and
will thus be better off. And
if you
earn 50 grand a year and I earn 10 grand, then who is using more
resources and sending more C02 skywards, you or me?
Meanwhile, gigantic data centers hungry for power are springing up like
mushrooms for storing digital information, and my guess is that in 10
years and despite numerous governments signing the Kyoto agreements and
introducing stern carbon trading taxes, CO2 emissions will rise atrociously.
Along with this pollution will be rising
problems
everywhere with de-forestation, food shortages, species extinctions,
just to name a few of the problems facing all of us.
So even if I gave up all my activities and did nothing except plant
trees and I lived on $1,000 a year, most of the rest of the world will
continue to try to live unstainably. So
don't blame me without blaming
yourself. I just don't know when Mother Nature will frown on
our activities and deliver us some really horrible weather and disease
events which will force many of us to realise we cannot all live like
kings and queens and that unless we change we will have pain. But many
will refuse to take any notice because they find a way of putting the
pain onto someone else. When the scramble to survive starts in earnest
the fighting becomes elavated. Our species is use to fighting to
survive or to promote a bullshit idea; just read the history of all the
past wars....
For those who like personal journey
stories, read on...In 1992 Master Fate saddled my knees
with some problems after considerable time spent doing hard labour as a
building contractor. I'd also ridden about 100,000 km on bicyles
between 1986 and 1992 when I competed as a "veteran" road cyclist
between age 37 and 43.
One day I just decided to stop cycling and concentrate on work and my
knees got
better for awhile. But then they got worse after spending time fixing a
roof with a lot of trips up a ladder with buckets of cement. Could I
blame the cycling? I
didn't really know because there were many people who did a lot more
than I did and did not suffer any knee problems. For me, trying to
work hard AND ride a bike competitively may
have been too much. In
about 2002 doctors said I needed two titanium knee
replacements. But first they would do an authroscopic knee operation to
clean
up the joint cartiledges. I had this minor operation in 2004. The
severe pain eased
immediately and I have not needed to take a
painkillers for 6 years so far.
Before the
knee authroscopy I had been taking drugs like Celebrex
and then VIOX for years. I was lucky because VIOX killed lots of people
and
was banned from sale! Big court cases against the makers
followed. When I stopped taking Vioox before the
authroscopy my heart went into
fibrillation and I then needed to spend a day hospital while they
stabilized my heart. The knee op was delayed for 3 months to make sure
the heart was stable.